Explorer Reporting

Hmmmm

2010-10-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

So. Work = busy. In paperless/new system which is great. I love troubleshooting.
Public contact = busy. I love talking to Vets that come in.
and I get to keep doing outreach at this point.

I love work.

Date friday? Hmmm. Sweet.

Outreach

2010-09-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

I love doing outreach. It is much better than sitting in the office.

On a side note: Free and easy is much better than angry and confused.

wahh

2010-09-06T15:57:00.000-07:00

Shit is down right confusing sometimes.

The OJ!

2010-08-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

I need to wisen up and not wake up in the middle of the night and drink Orange Juice when I am thirsty. Wicked heartburn and then I am up for 2 hours.
Trying to get in some overtime is rough if I go to bed at 9, wake up at 1030, and go back to sleep at midnight, to wake up at 6.
Ack. The week is going by a bit slowly... Maybe I'll get lucky and get to go into the hospital tomorrow... probably not though.

Lazy/Sick Saturday

2010-08-21T07:40:00.001-07:00

So even though there were no plans for this weekend aside from relaxing.
Buuuuuut instead of relaxing I get to sit and hope that my stomach stops hating me. I won't go into the awesome details but I'll say I didn't have a fun evening nor morning.

It's actually pretty nice out today too. Not too hot and breezy.
Maybe I'll get out of here.

On the bright side, I am going to Hyannis for outreach on Thursday. I was supposed to go last time, but we got bumped from it. It should be good, not the beach though which is obviously what the cape is all about. but still a good thing to be doing.

Need to go explore some more.

Explorer Out.

A new place, a new world.

2010-08-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

So I thought that since I yelled at Monica for not posting on her blog that I should actually post something on my own.

Lots of changes really since the last time I've posted. A LOT of changes. I am not going to name every single change but I can name a few.
First and foremost: I have a job. A great job actually. I work at the Dept of Veterans Affairs in the Benefits Administration in Providence, RI.
It's a 9 to 5 (well 8 to 4) but still. Some days I get to go on outreach... I've been to Newport, Bristol, Middletown, Westerly, and New Bedford. Tomorrow I will be going to the VA Hospital and I hope to get to go to Hyannis the next time someone goes.
There is a lot moving around in the office, both cubicals, walls and people. 50 people also just started in the past two weeks so there are also a lot of new faces. Lots of people to meet.
I've been there about 5 months and I still have a lot to learn. Every time I go on outreach I learn something new. I try to everyday. I hope to eventually get into the paperless and the new system that they are coming out with soon. I have a lot of ideas and could give some constructive criticism I think for it. Only time will tell, but so far I couldn't have asked for a better career.

As far as my personal life is concerned, I won't delve so deep. I'm single, for one thing. Woohoo? I don't know, I guess some people like being single, but I have yet to develop a liking for it. I suppose though at this point in my life I am looking for something a bit more stable, but of course as soon as you think you've found it, it runs off. C'est la vie.
Other than that I am living in Providence over on the East side in a 3 person apartment with Brian and Jacob. Things are going well thus far and hopefully they only get better. I think we're still getting a bit situated with the apartment but it's going well. The bus is only a block away and it takes 10 minutes on it to get to work. Saves lots of money on gas.

But I am sitting on my porch outside, enjoying the somewhat cool but fairly muggy air, and I feel like I shall be heading inside shortly. I will most certainly be heading out here during the next thunderstorm; I hope we get another one soon.

Moving Forward

2010-04-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

So, I said that I wouldn't post again until I had a better job.
Well, now I have a better job. In Providence, at the VA.
I'm pretty excited/nervous/many other things.
I don't really know right now heh.
Moving to Providence, but won't be able to get into the place we have until June. Lame.
Was planning on writing more, but now I'm stuck in a pondering mood.
Later.

Work.

2010-03-19T22:12:00.001-07:00

Work is lame, I need a better job.
Will update soon.

Just an FYI

2009-12-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

For the most part I won't be updating much until I get a job. Not much really differs from day to day. I don't feel like uploading the details of the veeesit, as if you feel like asking, I'll just tell you. lol. :P
This curbs my desire to discuss details of what I'm feeling while I am trying to find a job. That way no one can say that all I do is complain. :P

Everything Goes

2009-12-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

9 Dec 2009
So, It has been a couple weeks since I have posted, but as I had said in the last post: not much has changed. That remains so today. I've been applying for jobs here and there, when I see something that I might want to do or think that I am qualified for I go for it. So far though I have decided to move away from the Gov't jobs as it seems they are not really interested in someone who has just come out of school, qualified or not.
I still do not quite know where I want to go or what I want to do. It is always interesting how things work out, when you think you know which direction you are going, only to flip it on it's head and go elsewhere; not always of course being your decision.
The problem I have is 1) I don't know what I want to do, 2) I'm not confident in myself enough to say that I am good enough to do something, 3) I owe too much money to necessarily do what I may really want to do.
I don't regret the choices I have made (except maybe the loans,) but they have gotten me to where I am today, brought me to the friends I have, the educations and experiences that I have. I wouldn't trade those for anything.
I have some things I need to work on; unfortunately it is easier said than done as you first have to find the way to change those things. I have to start exploring other things that I may want to do and because of that I may have to start a little bit lower on the ladder, I will just have to accept that and do what I have to do until I can move up. Finding what you want to do is like finding a four leaf clover. (Needle in a hay stack is just too cliche and four leaf clovers happen more by chance rather than just digging through the stack.) Unfortunately it is winter... lol, all the clovers are covered up so it may take me a bit longer to find one.
So as everyone keeps telling me, positive positive positive. Well I'm trying :P

I'm hoping this week will be a good week :)
And then It's Christmas, then New Years.
HooHah.

Multiple Selves

2009-11-25T21:42:00.001-08:00

Don't you wish sometimes you could split yourself up and go in about 3 different directions?
I have a few directions in which I want to move my life forward, but it is very hard to choose, but of course I don't get to choose until I find out if they are an option... lol
Even so, just let each self go one way and then kinda scope out which one you will be good at/happy about, then report in to the "main self" and then choose that direction. But right now the choices that I make will continue for the next few years, scary stuff as always.
I'm ready to choose I think, but it's not at that point yet where I can. The waiting game continues.
Apply and wait, apply and wait, so fun and very fatiguing.

Not too much new has really happened since the last few posts. Mainly the same thing everyday, trying to conserve what little money I have left, and visiting family mostly. I don't know at this point where I'll end up so I figure I should get as much time in as I can. I go out to lunch with my Grandma about 2 to 3 times a week, visit with the cousins and the parents. I like to visit, and not just my family, but my friends and old professors. I like to go from place to place and visit and chat.

I'm about ready to have something new though, hope it'll get figured out soon.

The flight into the airy sky

2009-11-15T17:50:00.000-08:00

It would be nice not to feel grounded.
I need a bloody job to get myself out of this rut.
Hmph.

Funny thing about being home

2009-11-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

Fri 13 Nov 2009
I've realised this in the past couple of weeks.
All the messages, all the applause, all the eagerness to see someone that you haven't seen in awhile because they have been away, disappears the moment you see them and realise that they will be around for the foreseeable future. It is sad really... I'm not saying this from my perspective, I say this for all the people that were so happy to hear that I was coming home because they missed me or whatnot and were eager to catch up; things of that nature. I'm not saying that everyone is like this, but most. It's a fairly disappointing process, you are no longer a commodity, rather just an everyday occurance. Not even everyday, just knowing that you are a phone call away completely erases all the excitement of not talking. People you thought were really wanting to talk to you, see how you were, what you are up to in life, really couldn't give two shits about you at all. Just using a facade of feeling that becomes so hyped up that when the person missed realises its all a charade, is a really big downer.
I'm not saying all this to get sympathy or to berate friends who feel that I'm not important enough to go out of their way to talk to, or to feel sorry for myself; it is merely an observation. I am sure that I am not the only one that has come to feel this way.

This idea that you can talk to anyone with a click of a button, or a text message, or anything from this god awful computer age has completely taken the life out of conversation, of catching up with people from the past, from being able to properly 'miss' someone, miss their talks, miss their presence. Obviously being a certain distance away, having this feeling can still be felt, as even though you may speak to someone you know that seeing them in person is something that will not happen often, whereas if you live a state or two away, maybe not so.

I have become so obsessed with the stupid facebook, of aim/msn, of my phone; all to feel a connection to another person at the other end. Usually it works and I am able to talk to people that sincerely wish to have conversation with me and miss me and want to talk to me, but there are those times where you try and chat with someone, where it's like talking to a shell, a phantom even, they reply but honestly no one is really there. It makes you think about where this person is and if you ever really had a decent conversation that you didn't start yourself.

Hmmm. I sincerely miss the friends in England, at this point I can't say I have missed people ever this much (besides my family when I was over there). There are only a few people here (not at home) that I could say that I've missed.

It interests me to study how many people will wait to be talked to online and how many people will proactively try to talk to people. Most will just wait and hope that they are needed enough for people to search them out then there are those who are desperate enough to talk to anyone and everyone who pops up as being there. Then there are those, who, like me, will do both. Mostly just to see what happens, see who wants to talk to you. It is interesting what you find out.

I guess I am pondering all of these things because I have been home now for a couple months. I have thought about all of these things as I talk to the people that said they have missed me in the past, wanted to chat, and so forth. I don't have many people at home to go around and hang out with so I rely heavily on people to talk to online. It's hard to do that. It's certainly not the same, but with certain people that is all I have at this time and I'll take what I can get. But there are always those feelings of people that you'd like to talk to, that won't give you the time of day, and usually you realise that it was the same in person anyways; so what's the point.

Anyway, that was all a bunch of jibberish. I look forward to december.

Waning patience

2009-11-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

Mon. 2 Nov.
Well, another week gone spent at home trying to get a job. Since I've last posted I've applied to a bunch more jobs online and have gone to the temp agency to try and find something for the time being. Went on an interview this past friday, dunno how that went yet; hopefully will find out soon.

This past weekend was halloween. Went over to my friend andrew's, it was a good time, I think he'd wished that he hadn't invited so many people over. I was Magikoopa from Super Mario Bros. Spent too much on the costume that I only wore for like 2 hours. Oh well, it kinda came out crappily, but I dressed up more than most at the party.

I applied to a Historian job today. It sounded pretty interesting and I am actually qualified for it. I actually got a little excited about it as I'm hoping I have a good chance for it. Unfortunately it is in Hawaii, a bit far away and it makes many thing very difficult including seeing family. I suppose that whereever I go it will make it difficult. We'll see, I may not even have to worry about it.

I would like to just forgo the temp job and move into something that I want to do, but I don't think that will happen as quickly as I would like. Not much I can do about that and I suppose I will just have to take it as it comes.
I'm going to see Brian and Jacob this weekend, so that will be good. I also have a career fair on Thursday. Again, we'll see how that goes...

I have to take it week by week, it's nerve wracking.

Home.

2009-10-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

Oct. 16

So I was told that I had to write more in this blog. I suppose I should as it is usually a nice way to get some things off my chest and to update people that actually read this thing with what is going on in my life; especially those whom I do not talk to everyday.

If you didn't get it from the title, I am home. I've been home for about 2 1/2 weeks. It feels like it has been ages since I left Nottingham. It really does, it feels like at least a year. I'm missing out on all the fun stuff going on and all the cool people I got to hang around with practically everyday. As I said in my previous post; I don't think I will ever find a more inviting group of people who so quickly made me one of their own and had so much fun with. It was a fairly depressing day, the day I left. I had a knot in my stomach the whole day, and I was tempted numerous times to just not get on the plane. I knew that would not be in my best interest, but at that point I wasn't really sure I would care. My friend Stacey told me that it was okay for me to be sad, until I got on the plane; then I had to be happy to be heading home after a long journey.

I was happy to be going home, but it was just a hard couple of weeks to try and be both happy and sad at the same time. I was very happy to see my friends and family again. It is unfortunate however that a majority of my friends don't live very close to me (2+ hours away.) I have two, maybe three friends in my area of less than 30 minutes away. One goes about an hour 1/2 away for the week and comes home on the weekend and the other works during the week; this basically leaves the weekends. Which is fine, I just haven't found something to do during the week yet....aka job.

I've applied to a couple places and hopefully that will go in the direction that I am hoping. I have two paths and those are Gov't and teaching. I can see myself doing both, but right now it is a matter of which I can get into. Teaching means more school and Gov't is much harder to get into. So we'll see how that goes. For the time being I am toying between subbing and the temp agency. The temp agency is more likely to happen over the subbing as it pays more and I'll have something everyday rather than a maybe every morning getting woken up at 630 to see if I have something for the day or not....not the best of ideas. Early morning wake up call + kids who prolly won't listen to you + not a lot of money = not a happy camper Josh. I'm just hoping I don't screw up the applications for the gov't jobs... But as my mother says I should stay positive and give myself more credit than I do. Which is true; I don't give myself any credit at all.

Being at home is...different...I mean yes, I am 22, practically 23, and independant. But at home the atmosphere is so different than I am used to. I have a smaller space that is not necessary all mine, because I can't really do anything I want to it, and don't have as much room as I would like... such is life. I wouldn't mind getting my own place, but I am certainly not in a position to be able to afford that...again, such is life. I'm happy being home for now, but at a certain point I'm going to have to move on, move past it, and start my life. I look forward to having my own place; being able to put stuff together, have control over the design/looks of the place, and be able to do my own projects. If I want to rip out my bathroom, I could rip out my bathroom...I think if I did that here and my father, my mother more so, came home, they might have something to say about that. I like spending the quality time with the fam, but being home every night gets to be a bit rough and I'm not really used to it.

My room is in a state though...I still haven't unpacked my bag of misc. items yet. Mostly because I don't know what to do with all of it; things like posters, things that sit on your desk, and random assorted technical bits and bobs. Mehr. On top of that I have my Warhammer stuff out, and I have no where to put that stuff either, so it sits in the middle of my floor. I have too many books so those are stacked up on my bureau and too many clothes, so those are all tucked away somewhere.

I went to RI last week. It was a good time, visited all the professors and friends at RWU. There was some interesting goings on in that part of the trip, but I won't delve into that right now. Went to see Brian and Jacob over the weekend; really good time. Zombieland was amazing, we had coney island hot dogs and played some Warhammer. We went to King Richard's Fair. It was fun; expensive though. I shot some arrows...for 4$....threw some knives...for 3$...but it was a good time. Jacob played the emo kid and continuously wandered off...but we put him in his place, I think his mood is better now. There was always a caste we put ourselves in; which was mostly picking on Jacob. This was an earlier situation. Brian just makes fun of all of us, I try and make fun of Brian, usually fail, so I make fun of Jacob too. Jacob tries to make fun of both of us, but fails. I would put that into a graph or something, but that just would take up too much time. But anyway, we put that all behind us; Brian and I decided that we would make it so that routine was no longer followed, but Jake assumed that it would just be the same...so he was pre-emptively emo. That won't stay, we'll make sure of that.

But I feel this is a good enough update for the time being. I'm going to bed, past my usual 1030, which has been the time everyday this week.

Edit: I also decided to make the blog a bit more simple for the time being.

Done and almost done; almost home as well.

2009-09-18T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I am done with my essay and done with my portfolio. I say this, but I still need to print/hand them in next week. This requires spending money to have them printed, then bound, then back to the library to pay off the 8 quid fine that I accrued on the first book that I took out from the library a year ago. Stupid short loan. That will all get done on Monday. On Tuesday I will have a week of chilling out time. I also have to figure out how I'm getting to the airport now...I had a ride, but he can no longer use the car that he was going to bring me in. So unless I put all the stuff on his back and we walk, it's of no use.

I realise I haven't written in a couple of weeks. Between the essay, Scotland, and the portfolio I just haven't had the time. I would really like to spend the next hour or so relating the good times that were had in Scotland, but I'm lazy. I can say however, that we had amazing weather, lots of whiskey, and some interesting moments. If anyone wants my suggestion of a good whiskey: Glenfarclas all the way. It's an actual independently owned distillery in Scotland (there are very few of those now). Talisker was somewhat of a disappointment, which was the main reason for wanting to get to Skye. But I got to Skye and I think we were all happy with it, except for the Midgeys. I'll post some pictures on my next post about it.

I have a strange vibe now that started around Tuesday. I think it was because Tuesday marked the two weeks left that I have here. And when I get off that Airplane in Boston, I will have no direct path forward; only me sitting in the middle of an intersection trying to figure out which way I am supposed to be going. Too bad it's not a roundabout? I can just keep going in circles till I figured it out, or hit something. I have this pit in my stomach that is constantly there telling me that in a matter of days I won't be here and I won't have this life that I have come to be so comfortable with over the past year. Even at RWU I don't think I was ever this comfortable with where I was and what I was doing. To be honest I wouldn't mind staying, but that requires me to get a job here, which is hard enough as it is. Sometimes I regret the decision of taking on so much student loans, but then again I wouldn't have stayed at RWU, wouldn't have gone to Italy, or Europe and I certainly would not have ended up here. I think all that debt is worth what I've done for the past 5 years. Unfortunately it was very easy for me to put the debt out of my mind before, but in 6 months I'll have the money man knocking at my door looking for a payout. I don't know how I'll handle that. It is unfortunate that I cannot somehow combine the life here and the life at home. If they made it cheaper to fly there and back it would be much more feasible for me to stay and feel better about it. But that won't happen.
I've moved around quite a bit in the past 5 years, even at RWU nothing really seemed to stay a constant. The past year I've felt cemented; it felt good. But now I'm uprooting myself again; throwing myself into yet another unknown circumstance. But it will be good to see my family and friends at home again; but I cannot stress enough how much I don't want to leave my friends here.

I'm tired of being stressed out about what I'm going to do next, where I'm going to be, and what I have to do. I'm about done with it and just want some down time to figure it all out without being pressed to go one way or another. I'm tired.

On a brighter note: I'm done with my MA :)

Fin

2009-09-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well, yes. That means finished. I just finished it. Finally. Unfortunately I still have to read through it and do some grammatical checks to make sure everything sounds okay. But ARGGHHHH. and. whew. Now I can go to Scotland and relax. Peace out cub scouts. I'm leaving Sunday and I'll be back on Saturday.

Room closing

2009-09-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I have until Saturday in this room. I'm happy to be leaving it. It has more or less become a place of annoyance and crankiness. I stopped liking my room about halfway through the summer. When I got lazy of making myself food and no one really entered my room all that much. I stopped being able to sleep easily and it was really hot. For a week I'll be in Scotland, sleeping on the ground, but I bet it will be the best sleep that I get for a few weeks now. I definitely needed a vacation. I wish though that I could get my paper done before I go, but that is not looking promising. But we'll see. If I push it the next three days I may be able to.

Hannah left for holiday on saturday. Sunday I didn't too much besides bring our karate tournament paperwork in. That was a long and hectic excursion... Went to the place that was closest to me that was open on sunday. Except the people had not met there in 18 months. It had taken me quite awhile to walk there. Then I waited around not knowing that these people were not coming. Finally found out and had to take a cab to the place we usually go to for karate to drop the paperwork off. On top of that paying an extra 6 quid for the 2nd event that we signed up for not knowing about the additional fee...whoops. It would have been much easier if the two people with cars were not busy that morning. oh well.

The library also was closed this weekend because it was a bank holiday weekend. So because I spent the day with Hannah on friday, thinking that I could wait until sunday to get the books I needed, I missed the opportunity to get them. Grr..

But I did go on an academic field trip today with Stu and James (C.) to the National Space Center aka Kids learn all about space building. It is basically built for children, but at first glance at the signs and the building you would think that it would be a place for adults and that they might actually have archival information dealing with the United Kingdoms space program, but no. We had a good time acting like 10 year olds and pressing every button, doing every little thing. The reason we went is that Stu is doing his dissertation for his BA on Blue Streak, which is a rocket that the British built.
Played snooker this evening as well....did not go well. Me and Stacey on a team vs James and Stu. Did not go well at all. I don't think stacey and I have ever played so poorly. Grr. I'll miss snooker when I'm gone. I don't think there are many snooker places around the area at home, but I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with pool.

I have about a month to go now. Final stretch almost, but not quite. I still have the rest of my paper to right, and a portfolio to do; a vacation in Scotlan, and much hanging out with friends will be needed before I feel ready to go. I will neeed quite a bit of that as it will be very hard to leave them all and I will want as much of them as I can get before I go...

Now this evening was mostly looking up jobs at home to apply to.

Library tomorrow, most of the day, will need a drink when I'm done.

Go Panic Driven Writing GO!

2009-08-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

As mentioned above, yes, I am in a stage called panic driven writing. No I am in no way pressured for time to finish my dissertation; I have about a month left. It is mostly from the fact that I mentioned earlier that I want to finish it before I have to move out of my humble abode. I have about two weeks in which to finish all of the writing portion of my essay. At the end of last week that number stood at a solid halfway mark of 7500. Currently I am taking a break from my writing spree of two days where I have written about 2600 words and after I exit my break, I will continue to write some more. I intend to finish this section by the end of the day tomorrow, if not late this evening. I have about 2 1/2 sections left of this particular subsection before I finish, which leaves about 1000 to 15000 words left to write. Then I get to begin reading for the final section: The Black Prince. Now I only have a few bits and pieces of knowledge on this subject as at RWU I didn't take a single medieval history class...why is that? Oh yea. There was one class on it offered every three to four? years. Which I believe to be utterly ridiculous. This is what they thought: "I have an idea, lets have a history major that offers one ancient history and one medieval history class every three to four years, because this must be a very unimportant period of time where all of our major inspirations for everything afterwards did not occur!"
What I wouldn't give to have my PhD done and walk up to Dr. Potter and the dean and ask them to be reasonable and create it's own section, then move Prof. Stein over to religious studies where he really wants to be. I have nothing against the Jewish people, but why is it that every single Jewish history professor tries to teach either biblical history or the holocaust? There are other subjects, we all know you feel you were oppressed throughout the entire spectrum of history, but really, there are other parts of history that can be studied. Go study some asian history or something.

Autumn is hitting England currently. It is getting much cooler outside and many trees are starting to lose their leaves. The cool air invading the island is clashing with the warm air currently here and coming from the south and causing it to rain in the afternoons. Luckily it's not like Florida where it is hot and humid, then rains, and then gets a little cooler but even more humid. That would suck.

Also, no next comic coming until after I finish my dissertation. Sorry, I just want to get this thing done as quickly as possible. After I finish I still have to edit and do some touch ups and do the bibliography. Then I'll have to get it bound. Oh yea, then I have to do my portfolio which I haven't really even looks at yet. Hopefully that won't take me very long to do... Will be very annoying to do.

Went Go-Karting on Sunday. Was very fun. I have never been actual karting before. I have been in them before but they were not the type to go very fast in. These went upwards of 60 mph on this tiny track. I came in 5th out of the 13 that were there in our group. Hannah did beat me, which she still is gloating about and will most likely for eternity. But we were in the top 5 so huzzah for us. They all (aka Add) thought that I would do poorly, 'because I am American,' which is the reasoning perhaps for everything that I suck at according to many. heh. Anyways, we had a good time even though it was a bit pricey (36 pounds ick).

Next week while I finish up writing the last section I will be packing my things away and moving slowly over to Hannah, Malex, and Sam's for the last duration of my stay here.

Guess I should go back to work... but maybe I'll make some dinner first? Hmmm.

The most unproductive week.

2009-08-21T05:08:00.001-07:00

Has been this week!
I have written a total of about 100 - 200 words of this section. Whammy. Ouch. Yeah. I know, you're asking yourself: What the hell has he been doing all week? Well, I've gotten up for the past four days, excluding today, at about 2. The reason? I've gotten to sleep at about 4-5 in the morning. My sleep clock is all sorts of messed up. It has stretched into the week before it as well, but last week it was not as bad. So I started taking some stuff last night and I realized I'll have to take it a bit earlier than I did, but it should work okay. I woke up about 3 hours earlier, not feeling that I hate the world as much heh.

You can always tell it's a bad week by what you think when you are getting ready to go to sleep and when you wake up. If it's the same sentiment of I hate sleep or I hate everything or sleep is for the weak anyways; then it's most likely a bad week. The whole key of a bad week is what you do after you wake up. Shower of course because it's like an auto-pick me up. (Pick-me-ups....reminds me of Super Mario RPG back in the day....) But after that is important as well. Not only do you have to shower but you have to do everything associated with it as part of this morning routine of getting out of your bad mood. Some people like to just open the window and look outside, take a breath of fresh air. Others like to sit and enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee in front of the television or newspaper. Well. I for one can't look out the window and get into a good mood, as my housing looks like a prison; they don't really do good coffee here; and I do not have a television or newspaper. (That was one of the biggest mistakes I think I made, not buying a tv. Ive found that it does help me go to sleep, a little... that and I like watching the news on occasion.)
So you ask yourself now? What does he do to get himself out of a bad mood? Well, I walk outside and club baby seals...no no I don't. Usually I go and I grab a Dr. Pepper and take a walk outside of this lame living space.

Production levels are pretty low this week as I've said. I'm in a rut in that I just cannot seem to figure out how to start writing this section. But next week is a new week and I'm sure it will be much more productive. It will have to be. I'll have 2 weeks to have it done by the time I wanted it done. That leaves me with one week to do the first section and another week to do the last.

Hmmm.

I need to clean my room again.

Strip Twoo

2009-08-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I was procrastinating and did some work on the 2nd strip. It's okay. I'm still not sure how I am going to colour it. I'm going to draw out a couple of them for now, and maybe see about transferring them to the computer and make them digital. They will be more crisp and much smoother, and then I can do a better job colouring them I think.

The end got cut off. But he says, 'I thought not.' I moved up a pencil shade a little past halfway through it which is why some of the lines are darker. I'm going to go back over it and darken more of the lines. Especially in the split 2nd panel.

Well this means I've been procrastinating my work. Yes yes. I have been. Try not to get too steamed. :D I am going to see about doing some writing tonight. Unfortunately as it always occurs this way I am waiting for yet another book to come in. I need the citations from it as it is the primary source for this particular section.
I may have to cut it down back to the two people originally planned. Which means about 3500-3700 words for each knight. This is because I was talking to Gwilym and he said to make sure that I have enough written on each and not cut it short. Which means he wants me to keep the two and make them longer rather than have 3 shorter sections.... That kinda screws a bit with my plan as I was hoping to just do three small essays rather than 2 regular sized ones. But it may work out because it means I don't have to spend more time researching. It just means spending more time writing these two out.

I watched Broken Flowers last night. Another Bill Murray existentialist funk film. He's an aged Don Juan type character who goes to see past flames. I seem to like these types of films that he is in more and more. I like Lost in Translation a lot. I remember the first time in High School I watched it. I couldn't sit through it and now I could probably watch it once a week. I wasn't sure about the ending but then I figured it was a typical ending for this type of movie. If you liked Lost in Translation I recommend Broken Flowers.

Moon

2009-08-12T18:11:00.001-07:00

Well, I went this evening and saw the movie called 'Moon.'
It's about a guy who is living on the dark side of the moon harvesting energy for the planet. It is supposed to be a suspenseful thriller, with a twist at the end. Well. I'm not going to give away major plot points, as with most thriller/twists, seeing it once or hearing it will ruin it. (any shamalamalan movie)(yes I intentionally spelled it wrong)
It was not much of a thriller/suspenseful movie. I mean, it was still good and I never felt like I was left sitting there without. The one thing that got me, that was a bit strange, but felt like it was well placed, was the fact that Kevin Spacey was the voice of the AI robot on the station.

I'm not sure when it was released in the US, but if you get a chance I would recommend it.

ENGAGE!!!!!

2009-08-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

Make it so number 1, live long and prosper, I'm a Doctor not a physicist. I could just go on and on. But I won't. Star Trek is awesome. I just thought I would put that out there. Yah know. Just out there.

On another subject. I've begun the reading for my next section. I will hope to expect that I can get the first section of it done by the end of the week. If time, sleep, and whatever else out there may be on my side, I will get it done. The paper will be done by the end of the month.

Also the week of the 7th I will be going to Scotland! WOOT. Scotland. Woot. Scotland. etc. etc.
Not exactly sure what the plan is yet, that will be decided this week or the early of next. But will be a good time. Since I will be gone that week, I will have to move out of Broadgate before then. I am supposed to be moving out on the 12th, but will have to be out before then.

No comic this week, I am sorry to say. I have been working more than usual so I haven't given myself as much time to do it. Especially today. Hopefully once I start writing and get going more quickly that I will be able to do more for it.

I will have to start cleaning up my room a bit more, get everything squared away and send the box I have packed up. Joy, I get to shell out another extra 100 pounds to get that home. Buh.

Maybe I'll get to sleep tonight!!! :D

Lyle & Bo

2009-08-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

So this is the first comic strip that I've actually considered working on further than a few little doodles. I'm not really sure why that is. I think it is mostly because I like to do it and I figure now is as good as a time as any to start. I was going to put the comic in the top left corner but I realised that it would not really fit so I will have to put them into a post. I'll continue to post little doodles up there, but if it's a strip I'll put it here. I've bought a new pad to put them on so that way I have them all in one place. Excuse the lack of colour in the strip. I'm always a little afraid of ruining them when I colour them. I intend to redo this one in the new book, with a different size that will be used for the rest of them. I will also colour this one before I colour the new one just to see how it goes. If you click on the comic it will show it in a larger size.

Half and Half.

2009-08-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Personally I never really cared for the stuff before, but rethinking the idea now I think it's not a bad idea. It has the richness of cream and the liquidity of milk all rolled into one. They don't really do that here in England I believe. All the same the stuff that you put in coffee is not really the topic of discussion, but I thought it might just be something to ponder over. The real reason for the half and half is that I've gotten to the half way point in my writing. Well I have half of it completed, but I have to type it up for it to actually be considered half way done. So the first half I have decided to dedicate to the cream part of half and half. It is the rich descriptive portion of the ideal of chivalry while the second half is more of the reason for putting the paper together, the milk, the usage of the first will supplement and define the second.... I really don't know where that was going...
But anyways. Just about halfway.
This is a fairly big deal for me. I just hope I don't get through it all and realise that it isn't really half way. But I'm finishing it tomorrow and then looking through it to edit it on Wednesday. Depending on the rest of the week, I may start researching the second half or just take a couple days for myself. But I did make the mistake of not researching it all before I started writing. I did do it for a purpose, but I'm wishing now I hadn't made that decision. Usually you research it all beforehand and then just get to writing. But I feel the second half is going to be split three ways and each needs its own research to be done. So I will spend a couple days researching each one and then write them. I figure I can do 1 to 2 a week, depending on how long it takes me to find the information that I want. As of now I am looking at completing the paper by the end of August. Then I have to do a short portfolio, which may take me two to three days. Then I'm going to take a bit of time off and enjoy the time I have left here.
I may try and find a cheap holiday somewhere, possibly Scotland sometime in September for a few days.

I have to move out of this room on the 12th of September. This is because I read my lease wrong and I do not have the room until the end of my course...doh. Oh well. My goal now is to have all my work done by the time I have to move out. This way I do not have to go back in and dig around for all of my work again. I am definitely ready to not have to write like this for a little while. I'm burnt out on academia currently.

I was going to write some more, but I think I'll take a walk into Beeston before everything closes and get some stuff for the comic strip up there. I would like to keep going with it. I have one outlined, but I'm too afraid to colour them in. But we will see what will happen. When I get back later I will most likely update the comic strip and the feature picture of the week.
Cheers :)

Finicky Code

2009-07-27T12:09:00.001-07:00

The code is being stupid and not letting me rotate the pictures. So there Chris is, passed out on my bed after Alex, Chris, and I were at Broadgate Bar.
The Comic is Lyle and Bo, I've done one comic. That may get posted next week.

I'll put the rest of the pictures here.

These pictures were pretty much all from the Dublin trip. Good time. We should have traveled more together. I'll be seeing them when I drive up to visit.

Last Week

2009-07-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

So, yes yes I know, I haven't posted in a little while. But worry not, I am back in Nottingham, back at work, back at some sort of routine, and most likely until I finish. Well, because after this week there will be even fewer people here, most likely won't be going on any holidays (hm...). Unfortunately the deadline for my dissertation is 2 months away still which means I am not in pressure mode. My goal for this week is to put my head down and get some serious work done.... So far it's been going a lot slower than I had hoped and my drive is fizzling as well the longer I wait to write more. It's a vicious circle: I work better under pressure and usually do my work under such, but I have a bit of time left, so I go slower. Sigh. rawrrr. This week I'm telling you.

I'll make it to the half way point at the very least!

This past week I have not been around as I have been in Birmingham with Hannah, and then London on friday/saturday. Her parents took us around to a couple of different places such as the Shrewsbury battlefield and to Shrewsbury, Ashburn(?) Castle, and Lichfield(?). heh. There will be some pictures eventually, but since they are not on my camera I do not have them here with me. We had a good week, even though the weather was not really on our side for most of it.

On friday we went to see Waiting for Godot at the Haymarket Theatre in London. It had Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in it. The play itself is fairly ambiguous, but the way it was done by these two it was very good. I saw it at RWU, done by a few of the people in the theatre department, a few who were graduating. I'm sorry to say that it was not done well for a play that is somewhat complex and needs a certain skill I think to really get right. Afterwards I dragged Hannah around the back of the theatre and we just missed Ian McKellan, signing the last couple of autographs and getting in his car. Luckily, we did get to see Patrick Stewart and we both got his autograph. It's interesting to see how different they are when they are done. But I am sure they were both tired after such a long performance and it was fairly late. I still cannot picture doing the same lines and same play day after day, sometimes twice a day for almost 4 or 5 months. But the weekend was very good, and we stayed in a very nice hotel, overlooking London. We could see the Eye, Big ben (not big ben I know), and that cool looking business building lol.

Tomorrow it's back to work. I really do like reading about the topic, but when I sit down to write it, I couldn't hate it more.

Harry Potter and the ridiculously boring sequence of events.

2009-07-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for an intense Potter display, full of new magic spells, mystery, and a few good battle sequences; look to an earlier film. The film had some good qualities don't get me wrong. It was quite funny in some instances. I won't divulge too much for those who have yet to see the movie. I will say this. Make sure you are in a good theatre with really dim lights. The movie is very dark and if there are lights on in the theatre you will have a hard time seeing some things clearly. I unfortunately saw it in a shit cinema with way too many people with bright lights almost directly behind me. Let me just say it was not the perfect cinematic introduction to the 6th Harry Potter. I will be seeing it again on Monday, 1) because it was planned, 2) hopefully will be in a much nicer theatre, and 3) I will be able to pick up some more redeeming qualities. I was hoping for a little more action, especially at the end, but I was disappointed. I wouldn't classify it as the typical Potter movie, it was much slower and much less based around mystery and action than on a good giggle here and there.

Also. I don't think they could have put in any more sexual innuendos.... tie my shoe!

The Walls Came Tumbling Down.

2009-07-10T03:03:00.000-07:00

No I am not from Jericho, but it was nice of you to ask.

It's 11 am, more or less a few minutes, right now. I woke up early (for me) today because I had to bring my short loan book back to the library. This was in order to trick myself to get to the library early and to stay most of the day. Yet, I was there for about 2 hours and quickly high tailed it out there. I could use the excuse that it is most likely going to downpour in the next half hour and maybe continue throughout the day and I had neither jacket nor umbrella with me to prevent me from getting soaked when I left. But I won't. I just couldn't stand being in that place one more minute. I did some reading, a little writing, and had a major epiphany about how to much more easily accomplish the rest of my first section. That was good enough for now, right?

It seems that it does not matter what time I go to the library. I am currently in the mindset of Library = jail cell and unlike a jail I can actually leave...so I do. Once I get into that writing mindset I can most likely write my whole first section in two maybe one day, depending on when I start and how fast I am going. It's all a matter of mood and inspiration. If I wake up and I feel inspired to write a couple hundred to a couple thousand words, then awesome. If not, there is always tomorrow. I have a little over two months to write this. Even if I only did 1000 words a day in August, I would still finish it in a half a month. So there we go. Justified.

My epiphany is to write 25 sentences of what is required of the ideal knight within the realm of the chivalric code. If I use this number and divide it by the 8000 words I want for my first section, I get 320 words. 320 words a section for each of the 25 ideal aspects of a knight. So within each little subsection I have the initial sentence, a quote or two from the different treatises that I am using. Make an argument as to why it must be there and how it bolsters the ideal and conclude that little subsection. Bippidy boppidy boom, done. I'll have 25 little arguments/conclusions at 320 words a piece, roughly. They won't be able to tell me that I don't conclude/argue enough. Each subsection will be a statement followed directly by a argument/conclusion. Now if only I could write my dissertation as much as I write what I'm thinking. I seem to be able to think a lot about life, the world around me, and what I am doing, an not historical research. I wonder what that means. Hmm... I would consider becoming a journalist if 1) I had a degree in it and 2) It wasn't so ridiculous to even try and get a job in the field. 3) If I wasn't broke when I left here. :D

On another subject. I've been thinking a lot about music lately. I listen to some form of it everywhere I go. The music that I listen to is truly eclectic. Classical, Electronica, Classic Rock, Hard Rock, New Age, Soundtracks, Indie, Punk, just about everything you can think of I will most likely listen to (anything but rap.) Usually the music I get is from other people. My friends will introduce me to a band that I haven't heard of or a band that I have heard of but just never got around listening to. If me and the music hit it off then it will just be adopted into my conglomeration of acoustical accoutrement. I rarely will discover a band by myself as I just do not consider myself in the music 'scene.' And I just don't care if I am. Right now I'm listening to Ben Folds, because my friend Chris is completely gah gah for him and he listened to him a lot when I hung out with him and Alex in the fall. I had some of his music already, but I never listened to him that much until now. Now I don't think I go two days without listening to a song. Alex got me back into Bruce Springsteen, who I had previously stopped listening to because all I ever heard was Born in the USA and Dancin' in the Dark. But now I have Magic, his newest album, and I listen to him again. That is just two examples of how I end up listening to what I do. I would say that the way I get music and listen to music would relate to just about everything I do. That is really the way to do it, you will always have your own thing no matter what, but you'll always have something to talk about with a friend or an acquaintance and you learn a lot of different things. From the things I discover, I get to choose which I will keep with me. That's part of what makes me, me. Of course who I am as a person does not work the same way, but that is something else that can be discussed at some other time.

My problem with writing a research paper is that I always have something else on my mind. When I was in the library today, all I could think about was music. Some days it is movies or Magic Cards, friends, or the future. Those things are much more fun to think about than my paper. I love my topic and I love reading about it, but writing about it just does not interest me. Now if I could write something like this about my topic and hand that in, then I'd be good as gold.

Okay okay, I know I know

2009-07-09T08:02:00.001-07:00

Soon enough I'll post some more riveting tales. Lately I've been busy doing work / hanging out with peoples. The weather has calmed a bit and has moved from hot sun to warm with chance of rain pretty much everyday, which I quite like. I'm going into town soon to get some magic cards :D Which seems to be my obsession right now. I understand the game a lot more than I used to which is why I like it more and it just gets as complex of a game as you want to make it. When I go home though I won't really have anyone to play against, and I always feel weird playing against people that I don't know, but we'll see, maybe I'll start. Then I am actually shooting tonight at 8. I haven't shot in a few months so it will be good (and most likely painful.)

I got 500 words done this morning. Give or take 20. It was more of an outline of what I want to do with the first part but I still got stuff done. Gotta keep on going. Back to the library early tomorrow for most of the day.

It's just too hot to write or anything.

2009-07-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

I'm just too hot. To write. Anything comprehensible. At the moment. Where's my personal air conditioner? Did I mention the year that I am in England it has no English weather whatsoever and has had record snow/cold and record heat and number of days without rainfall. ACK. I want to cool/breezy/rainy England! This isn't what I signed up for!

...

But it is really nice out...

DOH

Cinematic Interlude.

2009-06-28T08:30:00.001-07:00

I usually make it very clear that I tend to go see a lot of movies at the cinema. I enjoy the experience. You sit in a very quiet, dark room and get a giant display of theatrical production for about 5 quid in the UK and between 7 and 10 bucks in the US. It is usually between 1 1/2 hours and 3. Many people believe that it is a complete waste of time. Why is that? What makes it so different than sitting and reading a book for a couple of hours? Some will argue that the quality between the two is just unparalleled. That reading a book will give rise to your imagination and you can explore much further the world of a book than you can the world of cinema; the vocabulary used in a book is much more complex; the connection made with the book is much deeper and much more sincere than one made with a movie. The thing about this is that I disagree with these. Giving light to some certain aspects of a book made into a movie will show you someone's perspective of what they think they see in their mind. This does not mean that you have to automatically shift your vision of something in a book to the one that a director portrays in a movie. You can agree to disagree with the vision, but it gives you a comparison and may even improve upon your own imagination the aspects that the director has included, or may have even put more emphasis on one part of the scene than you had thought to give before. Of course the 2nd argument just depends on the movie. There are obviously movies that will just give you run of the mill vocabulary that you would hear out of a 4 year old, but there are movies that are intelligently written. Making a connection with the movie can be so much more than people make it out to be. First, if you are going to make a connection with a movie, treat it like a book, sit down with no distractions and pay attention. Secondly, if the subject is a serious movie, take it seriously; comedic, take it light at heart, but get into the movie and you'll enjoy it more. You can make just as many connections to characters in a movie than you can in a book.
There are those times where you just watch a horrible film, but there are times where you pick up a horrible book. Usually you put down a horrible book before you walk out of a horrible film. But I digress, I believe that any movie can be just as thought provoking and imaginative as a book.
I saw Blood: The Last Vampire, Year One, and The Hangover this weekend. The latter two were pretty good, the first was just awful. Year One and The Hangover were comedies, different types of comedies, but still full of shenanigans nonetheless. Blood....was just bad. I have seen some bad movies but this one was quite high on the list. Little plot, at least plot that was explained, bad cinematography, bad lighting, and bad fake blood. It was done by the same people that made Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Hero. Both of these movies were awesome and superbly made. I want to know who allowed this movie to go out and believe that it was on par with these other movies. It was completely ridiculous. It gives movies a bad name. We went to see Year One straight after to get the ridiculousness out.
This summer seems filled with good movies. I can't wait.

This is the long long update on the past week 1/2 to Keswick and Italy.

2009-06-22T14:01:00.001-07:00

Let's see if I can remember most of everything?

Day 1.
Left my room at 9? Something to that extent to go into Nottingham to catch the train. Getting the trains are usually the easy part, it is the sitting on them for the next 6 hours or so that get's more frustrating / annoying. I had to change trains twice, which was not too bad. I finally got to my destination to find that I had a phone call from Sara saying they were going to be a bit late (like an hour) So I popped over to McDonalds and had myself a couple cheeseburgers while I waited. The bus that we were supposed to get was also late and did not come until after they came anyways. So it all worked out.
-
Got to the hotel, which was really nice actually. The manager tells us when we are checking in that the room we were given was not substantially large enough to fit three beds and therefore, "because I am the manager and I can do this," he proceeded to give us a 2nd room for free. Which had a double bed and a bigger tv. Which I got. Go MEEE!
-
We got some 'free' pizza behind the hotel because it came with our hotel room, which was pretty cool. We were all pretty tired after the day of travel.
We walked around a bit around the town because it did not go dark until about 11, and even then it was hard pressed to get complete darkness. So we saw the town and the boat launch and saw some sheep.
----------------------------------------------
Day 2
We got up for breakfast. Since it was technically a B&B type place. I just had some beans on toast and they got some eggs. We were listening to the music which was pretty much cheesy 90's R&B music. I don't remember what song it was but for some reason Sara thought they had said, "I have a cut on my leg." So me and Colin took it upon ourselves to start making our own versions of different 90's songs as well. We ended up sticking with the same line and the same harmony. and literally ended up with, " I GOT A CUT AHN MAH LEG, OWWWWW" This line would be said at least 100 times this day and many times afterwards, even until the very last day.
-
We went for a hike/walk whatnot up the crag that was standing over the lake. Some of it got pretty steep. But the sun was out and it was a very nice day to be out and about. We had gotten some vanilla fudge at the little market out in the town square that kept us going a bit longer. Sara and Colin also got some scones. At one point we could see across the lake some nice clouds and the rain that was falling from them. Knowing at some point we would be caught in this we watched it come and ducked into a grove type thing and sat it out. We ate some more fudge and chatted and sang some songs about how we cut our legs.
There were some people that were quite serious about this journey. Many had almost full hiking gear on with their maps in plastic and everything. And here we are three pasty white 20 year olds in crappy sneakers and light sweaters with tiny backpacks doing the same thing. We were quite a site. We also took about a kajillion pictures in that first 2 hours. A majority of my pictures are from Keswick (pronounced -Kessick by the way.) There were obviously many inappropriate moments, such as me taking a picture of Colin crouching over a big blob of poo with him squeezing his eyes shut. We took a boat once we reached the lake back into Keswick. The journey took most of the day even with the cheating. and when we got back we hung out in the hotel a little bit before going to get some dinner in the resturaunt downstairs.
It is an amazing hotel by the way. All day long they played Depeche Mode, and once in awhile other 80's songs stuck in there. I had a chicken and mushroom pot pie, colin had a leek and cheese pot pie and Sara had fish and chips for the first time. It was such good food.
We then got ready to go to the theatre.
This play, called Summer Lightning I believe, was based in the 20's or some such and was quite obviously made for old people. Everything was pretty corny and the jokes were very old school. There were 'holding hands' moments and such. There was once comment of how one of the guys gets excited and I started to giggle that Colin had to hit me because no one else in the entire audience thought of it that way. The first half was quite a drag, but after the jack and coke I had at intermission, the second half was much better and actually a bit funnier as well. We meandered back to the hotel and went to the pub and had a pint and then got some chips at the chip shop around the corner.
-------------------------------------------
Day 3
Today we got up early again and got some breakfast. Pretty much the same deal.
We went for more of a long walk today that brought us along the edges of the lake. We saw some more sheep and took it much more lesurely. We ate a packed lunch by a waterfall that Colin had also scaled, got lost a few times, and skipped rocks on the lake for what seemed to be almost 45 minutes. We found a piece of wood sculpted into two cupped hands which we took some pictures, used my timer and got one of all three of us.
We also found a lamb leg. Not the type that you find on a plate with some potatoes and veggies. But literally the back left leg of some poor lamb on the rocky beach next to the lake. A little creepy.
The hike took a long while. At the end we were quite literally dragging our feet, but still in good spirits. The weather was again amazing. We weren't looking as pale after this day.
We went and got Indian food for dinner. It was pretty good. Colin got something that was pretty spicy, but the name escaped me. Sara got Chicken Tikka Marsala, and I got Chicken Korma. Afterwards they did some laundry while I just kinda hung out in my room watching the tele.
We walked around again a bit and got some more chips.
------------------------------------
Day 4
This was another just wonderful travel day. We woke up without time for breakfast, and slipped out of the hotel. We were waiting for the bus and went to see if we could get some food somewhere but no where was open yet. We got some drinks at a bait shop and a bag of crisps.
Then we went and had to wait a bit for our train so we played some cards while Colin walked into the town and got some chow to bring back. The train ride was quite long as it was in Birmingham...about a 4 to 5 hour train ride, but was broken up a little bit by changes. I am now so sick of trains after this trip. We got there with plenty of time and waited for the plane. The plane ride was alright. It was Ryanair so its not going to be fantastic, and we landed in Pisa and got a Taxi to the hotel...to the middle of EAST NOWHERE WHERE THE HELL ARE WE.
We wanted to find something to eat but the only thing nearby was the ridiculously expensive hotel resturaunt or take a taxi to the center. So we did the latter and ate at this nice little place in the center of Pisa. Afterwards we got some gelato and walked around. Then we were done and ready to leave. But no taxis ANYWHERE. WTF. So Sara asks a policeofficer and he says to go down to the station. So we go there, but of course it's closed for the evening with no trains going in or out. So obviously there are not going to be any taxis. LAME. So I stood on a corner down the road waiting impatiently for any taxi to come and eventually managed to wave it down. We got back and enjoyed the wonderful comfort of the air conditioned room. By the way the humidity was palpable and it was quite warm out. About 15 degrees warmer at least than in Keswick. I don't know if I could have taken longer than a week or two without some sort of air conditioning or breeze of some kind. But this room was cold, thank god. But needless to say, the hotel got a 1/5 for being in the middle of nowhere and having no food options other than a ridiculous resturaunt, but having an AC. And Pisa also gets a 1/5 because it was crap and the only thing good about it was finding a nice place to eat. We were just happy to get the hell out.

That's it for right now, I'll update the next bit tomorrow. These are a bit more thorough than previous ones I've written. They take ages. Pictures to come as well when I will add them into the text.

Much harder to play than pool

2009-06-04T15:35:00.000-07:00

The Game is Snooker. Bastard game! I say this mostly because I am horrible at it, but slowly getting better. I just got back from a nice 1-5 night. The first three games were against my friend James who used to basically play on a regular basis in competition. The 2nd two were against my other friend James and Malex, with me and James (the 1st one) on a team. All in all I won one game. Go me... My angles are usually all wrong and so many times I hit it with it going all the way to the cusp of the pocket and then it just stopped. RAWR.

Basically you have to hit a red ball in before you hit another colour in. The red balls are worth one. Then Yellow 2, Green 3, Brown 4, Blue 5, Pink 6, Black 8. If you scratch its 4 points to the other team. Once all the red balls are potted then you have to go in order from Yellow to Black. The table is about twice the size of a normal pool table with the felt much thinner which causes the ball to roll much further. I don't believe that there are any Snooker places in the US, or if there are they are few and far between. It makes Pool tables look really easy though.

Archery BBQ on Sunday will be a good time. We get to watch my friend Add start the BBQ with ethanol and many other flammable liquids, while the rest of us stand about 15 feet back to see if he burns his eyebrows off. (He's just about graduated with his PhD in chemistry.) There is a shoot on Saturday which I am not attending. Instead I am going to see Star Trek again and relax. Woot.
Next week will be good as long as I don't go trying to buy stuff without my wallet again. And with the same amount of Pub time as this past week. 3 times is good, 4 is better.
Good Times.

The Sun Shines and the Clouds Cover it up.

2009-06-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

But is still bright as hell. That's what always gets me with overcast. You are inside and it is dark because the clouds are covering the sun, so you walk outside. And the brightness of the sky slams you in the face and you recoil. Ahhh. Hiss. Sort of thing eh?

Well I had my meeting with Gwilym today. Got my focus all sorted and a section outline done for at least the general part of the dissertation. I get to define my own criteria of the ideal chivalric knight using contemporary literature and treatises to Chivalry. That will take up about half of the dissertation, aka Section 1. The second half I will be taking two or three knights/persons and use my criteria of this ideal knight as a case study for comparison of them. So far I'm thinking William Marshal and The Black Prince. The third one may or may not be done and there are a few options for the third. I am going to have to read a lot of literature and chivalry books (which I have already started.) I'm always a bit intimidated going into these essays and especially this one which is a major part of my MA grade. I was talking with Gwilym and he said my grades (ranging from 56 to 62) are good, while not excellent but they are still considered to be good grades. It is pretty much a higher 2:2 which is about a B- or a B I estimate. Which is fine. There are a few other americans in my course and one of them has about the same range as I do which makes me feel a bit better. We attribute it to being taught differently and not knowing what it is we are supposed to write.

Gwilym told me that I lack a certain confidence when I write which is why my grades are at that point. He's thinks that I am too afraid to assert myself in the essays because I do not think that I have the knowledge to be writing on the subject as I have only been learning about it for a couple months. He's completely right in his assessment, but of course, I have to work on this for the biggest paper I've ever written. Rawr. I'm going to have to write this paper as a snobbish arrogant prick who thinks I know everything there is to know about the subject. Hmmm...

Sister leaves tomorrow. I'm looking forward to meeting up with them next week and then also heading to Italy. Woot! Woot! It's been 3 years since we were in Italy. Feels like forever ago. I may update once before I head out next week, we'll see what happens until then.

Hi from York. I'm on the stairs.

And I'm Reaping all the benefits.

2009-06-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 3 June 2009

Today, I think I would have lost my head if it wasn't attached. I didn't really get up and ready for the day until about 2:30. I went to Sainsburys to buy my groceries for the week. Basically just what I need until I leave to meet Sara and Colin next week. Not too much but enough. I walk around all the aisles getting exactly what I have in my mind. I spend about an hour meandering down each aisle. Finally happy with my accomplished goods in tow, I go up to the conveyor belt and start putting my groceries on it. Then I reach in my left back pocket to get my wallet. No wallet. I realise at this point that I have not even though to put my wallet in my pocket before I left my room. Awesome... I then proceed to have to spend the next 20 minutes putting everything back where I got it and then to make my way back to my room, with absolutely nothing in my bag.

I've also spend a ridiculous amount of time just trying to come up with a detailed topic / topic outline for my dissertation that I am supposed to be doing research for. Last week I officially changed my topic as the old topic was becoming very hard to research for. The problem is it takes me way too long to come up with a topic that I am happy with, and even longer to come up with the focus of it. Okay, Medieval Period -> Chivalry -> When? -> What about it? -> Why? ->Questions for discussion. When the questions start, that is about where I am up to. Tomorrow luckily I go to see Gwilym, my supervisor, for some much needed help. Rawr.

Rawr. I don't know how I am going to work it all out. I would rather just do the research and be like..."Here, this is good stuff, go write a book." And just get an A.

Vampire Tales and the Museum of Deathly Theatrics

2009-05-31T06:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday 31 May 2009
So today I went out to go for a walk. It's pretty hot out and for whatever reason I just don't feel like dealing with the heat/sun. So I am sitting in my room with my shades drawn. I feel like a vampire. I don't feel as if I am wasting the day because it will be this nice for the next couple of days.

I am going to try and get a routine down this week as far as the working and such, but as per usual I will have a hard time nailing it down. We'll see how it goes.

I went to see Night at the Museum 2 yesterday. Awful. If you can help it, don't see it. It was dreadfully done and it was one movie that I could have seen myself walking out of. There were too many 'star' actors in roles that were too small and a plot that a 5 year old could have drawn with crayons on a dirty bum's cardboard box house. I would say that the only saving grace of the movie (for guys anyways) was the actress who played Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams - Talladega Nights and played the Bag girl that Jim was dating for a short while on The Office) was playing [as well as her trousers.] Unfortunately the character that she played in the movie was just annoying and immediately puts you off of anything that happens between her and Ben Stiller. There were also about three other cast members of the movie from the cast of The Office. Of who were basically the same characters that they played in The Office... I would have rather watched a two hour Office rerun marathon, because that would be entertainment.

Anyways, next week Sara and Colin come to England! Woot! I won't be seeing them until the 10th, but I am quite excited. We will be going to Italy as well, which I certainly cannot wait for. WooT.

On a sidenote, attributing to the sub-heading of the blog, I actually played Starcraft the other day. However, annoyingly, I cannot log on to Battle.net to play online, nor can I even get on the Battle.net website because of the stupid proxy server at this school. It is ridiculously lame. LAME.

A Yorkshire Weekend

2009-05-27T05:14:00.000-07:00

So I decided a couple of weeks ago that I would go visit Kate and Frank up north. It being a holiday weekend was superb because we had the monday to go and do stuff as well, and Frank took friday off so we had that day as well.

I got there on Thursday after taking the train. I think it would take less time to drive up there than it would to take the train. At least I didn't have to transfer anywhere except in Leeds to get the Metro rail to Harrogate. I thought they had lived in Harrogate, but in fact they lived about 25 minute drive to the city of Ripon. Which is only a city because they have a cathedral, but seems smaller almost than Windsor Locks.

On Friday we went into Harrogate and walked around. It is more of a city than Ripon is, it's bigger and such, but still has that small town feel. We went back to Ripon to a Thai resturaunt for dinner. I was skeptical as I had never had Thai food before, but, what I had, was basically a combination of Chinese food and Indian. I had Egg Fried Rice with what was pretty much Chicken Korma. It was good though, and a lot less greasy than the usual chinese food and sweeter than the Indian Korma.

On Saturday, We went to Camp Eden, which is an old POW camp for Italians and then for Germans during World War II. It has been turned into a pretty big museum, run by the local historical societies it seemed. There was a lot of history there from the wars, although it was a bit disjointed. We ate lunch there, and went back.

On Sunday we went to a Sunday Roast at a nearby pub that they usually go and eat at. Afterwards we went to a Boot sale and we went into Ripon and walked around a bit. The city is nice, it's small and has all those buildings with the shops on the ground floor and other stuff above it, I'm not sure at this point if they are all apartments or what. We went to see the Cathedral and the center. It was good. Walked from their house and back.

Monday we went to York. Walked around there a bit. Went to the Jorvik place which was okay. It was quite a busy day as it was a bank holiday and everyone was in town for the day off. It's an old city as seen from the old walls surrounding it and the 17th and 18th Century buildings that are still standing. I would like to go back and just wander around.

Tuesday I came back to Notts and thought that because I got an earlier train in Harrogate that it would be quicker to get back. Nope. I still had to get the train in Sheffield that was the same train as if I had waited in Leeds to get the train that went straight to Nottingham. Lame. I had to wait anyways. Oh well.

It was a good relaxing weekend. I got to watch some TV which I don't usually get to do, sleep in a big bed, and eat home cooked food and go out to eat to some good places as well. I'll probably go back sometime later in the summer for another visit.

Now I have to start a bit of work before I meet my sister and Colin up in Keswick on the 10th. Lots to do, lots to do. I have to try and get all the timing right for it.

2 am

2009-05-17T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it is as the post calls it. It's 2 am. And I'm wide awake, pretty much as per usual. I can sleep all day tomorrow, so it's fine. I'm in a strange mood and don't know why I am posting, because I can't hold a thought in my head anyways. No, I'm not drunk. :P
I don't know where I was going with this.

Oh yea

Saturday was good.
I had an ostrich burger for lunch... good! In Market Sq in Nottingham. Followed by a poorly made crepe, still good though, although very messy. I went looking in HMV for the new VNV Nation cd, seems they do not have it there. Boo.
Later that evening I went to Stuart's for some Eurovision fantastic.
I was promised ridiculous music from all over Europe. I was not disappointed with that. Although I was disappointed in just about everything. I was told last year that it was much better. LAME. Oh well, I still got the 'Eurovision' experience, as disappointing as it was.

Truly a European experience Saturday with some lovely English weather (clouds and rain).

Edit: I just realised that this template does not show the date. It is Monday 18 May, 2am.

The week is done for me

2009-05-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Well I've finished. Everything for this term. I haven't handed it all in yet. That will happen tomorrow. Maybe that is why I don't have this euphoric feeling that I'm done. That and the fact that I now have to work on a ridiculously long paper...must get myself organized for that.
I worked on my longer essay on Monday and Tuesday, finishing it on Tuesday. I've decided I am never going to write out an essay again as long as I live. Says myself now with my last short essay ever. I wrote it all out and was quite happy with the content and how it came out. So I typed it up to finish it off....1000 words short. This is why you don't write things out. You do twice the work and then realize that you shortchanged yourself... DOH... anyways, I handed that in on Wednesday.
Today and yesterday I had to work on some Paleography stuff. The majority of the people in the class came together as a group and worked on it. Made it much easier. They did not say we couldn't do that! So today I typed it all up and I must hand that in tomorrow as well.
I also had to write a 2500 word proposal for my dissertation and a started bibliography for it as well. So I wrote out a little chapter outline and then added in a long part about what I am going to put in my first chapter, since I have the most done in that area. But really I just copied stuff out of my Chivalry essay and entered that in. Honestly, I'm not going to sit here for 4 hours writing that when I actually have to start writing that next week without a next day deadline. Just couldn't be bothered. We could literally write anything as long as it pertained to our dissertation. So score one for me.

Yesterday I went to Chicken joes for lunch, I always forget how good it tastes and how full I get from eating it. It's so worth the 4.50 that I pay for it, some curly fries and a pepsi.
My drink of choice lately has certainly been Dr. Pepper. I don't think I've gone two weeks without having at least a pint of it. I don't know what it is about it that I find ridiculously refreshing.

Next week I'm giving myself a break. I'm going to go see a few movies, wake up late, and I think towards the end of the week I am going to go see Kate and Frank up near York. I emailed him and he said next week would be good. So I'm gonna get a train ticket and make my way up there. They're going to show me around, should be fun. We saw them in London while my parents were here. I haven't seen them in at least 8 years or something.

This weekend will also be relaxing. Watching something called Eurovision?? or something on Saturday. Which apparently is this ridiculous 'gay' [not homosexual, but the fun ridiculous tpye of oh my god I can't stand this music anymore] music festival type event where each European country enters a song and they choose which one is the best. That should be fun.

I also have to clean my room, which I have been fairly neglectful about the past two weeks. I've basically done as little as possible in my room besides working and sleeping and the occasional tv show on the laptop. Which means no cleaning except for the dishes I need to eat with. So that needs to change.

It's also been rainy the past couple of days, which has been nice because it means I don't have to feel bad about staying in and doing work. If it continues to be rainy then that just means I don't have to feel even worse about staying inside not doing work and sitting around on my lazy ass all day, rather than going out and doing something. Or going to the movies, which from here on I will be doing quite a bit of, why? Because I love movies. That's all I really need to say as a reason.

So go me! I think this weekend I will watch Good Morning Vietnam again, and continue to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ.

A new week.

2009-05-10T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend went by really quickly, as they usually seem to do.
As you saw Wednesday I went and saw Star Trek. I was very much enthralled by this new take on the original series. The whole time rift that happened I think made it better to watch. I hope that they continue on soon with #2. There is one problem I have found with this movie, not really the movie but in general the Star Trek Series. There will not be a tv series made from these movies. There will be no Star Trek 'Rebooted' series and especially not from this cast. It would require tons of cash and a few new story lines. I think if they made a series from it, it would turn into Lost or something and then the original star trek hinting would fade away. Not that I did not enjoy the JJ Abrams take of Star Trek in the movie, in fact, I loved it. But I think in a longer series, directors tend to end up going the same way with events that are similar to other things they have done.

Thursday and Friday, I did not really do any work. I should have, but I kinda took it to myself to clean my room a little bit and just relax. This week I have lots to do, but I do not think it is anything I cannot handle. But that will encompass most of this coming week.

Friday I had Karate, which has been getting to be a very good time. I seem to look forward to it more and more every week. This sunday I had my grading, Well, today I had my grading. Which is basically a test of the stances/punches/kicks/ katas. Katas are forms that you go through, there are quite a number of them. For this one, we only have to know the 1st one, but we know up to the third. Well, almost the third. So I was a white belt, now I'm a yellow belt. In 12 classes I can take the next grading for Orange. After that it is Green, Red, Blue, Brown. I think that is the order. We can only grade every 12 classes.

After karate on friday the archery people got together and we all (most of us) had a few drinks. Which pretty much meant Saturday I was out of action until about 1 or 2. Went to see Star Trek again that evening. Love that movie, did I mention that? :D

Anyways, at least this week I do not have any research really to do, as I did it all pretty much last week. I'm kinda getting sick of reading through books to find little snippits I can use to quote. Being in the library for hours on end does not entice me to go there. Blah.

This week I'm going to see if I can get up a little earlier and go to sleep, also, a little earlier. Fat chance on the latter though. We'll see.

I want it to pour buckets outside. I want to see the sky light up from lightning and the earth shake from the thunder. I don't think that its going to happen. Damn.

MMMMM STAR TREK

2009-05-07T09:36:00.001-07:00

STAR TREK!

I don't really need to say much more. They definitely planned this movie for a younger generation, trying to get them into the Star Trek world and they did a very good job of it. I won't go farther than that, as many people who read this have not yet seen the movie. I will most likely be going to see it again within the next couple of days.

I like going to the movies. It's relaxing...most of the time... and although it's not as enwrapping as a novel, it's still worth it. Sometimes it's nice not to have to picture things yourself and just let the director of the movie do it for you.

1 paper left. Due next friday. Should be okay. I've done all the research already.

And it goes

2009-05-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to the library once again. It is a holiday, but no matter. I made up for that by getting up at 11. I am going to the library where hopefully everyone else has decided it is a holiday and not go. Hopefully over the weekend the librarians have decided that it would be pertinent to actually put all the books back on the shelves and not only a handful. This way when I get there I will be able to find somewhere to sit and find all the books that I will need to sift through.

I finished my Roman essay last week. All I need to do now is the bibliography and then hand it in. I think I will do that tomorrow. The Siege, Pillage, and Slaughter essay is all I have left for the term. I have yet to think of a definite topic, but I have a few ideas and hopefully I will do some reading today and pin it down. I was trying to do some research online yesterday, but it seems that my internet has decided it will take 5 minutes to load every single page, or just not load them at all. When I get back, it better be back up. I am writing this on my computer, yes, that is true, but, more than likely I will hit publish post and have to hit refresh about 9 times in order to post it. Oh well.

I may be going to Spain in a couple weeks. Depending on how everything goes this week. My friend Joe from RWU apparently has a timeshare, well his parents have a timeshare there, and has invited anyone who wanted to go with him, to go. We'll see. It's sort of last minute and I am not sure how much time I will need. I should really start my dissertation as early as next week. Taking a week off and then another 2 a week after that might be stretching my time off just a bit.

I won't delve into the fact that I still have nothing worked out for Aug/Sept.
We'll see.

Star Trek is a must.

Ed: Only 10 or 13 times.

Insert random noises

2009-04-28T13:08:00.001-07:00

I can't think of what to focus on for my research proposal for Exeter. Military history as a whole is a fairly large subject, and I have to choose what area I want to do it in...because it also means what kind of job I can get afterwards...hence: If I do Middle Eastern military history ->middle eastern history position, European military history -> european history position, etc, etc....

On a better note, 1800/4000 words done. Tomorrow I expect to have 2500 - 3000.

A letter in the Post

2009-04-27T10:06:00.001-07:00

So I get back from my class at 6. Figure I can check my mail, even though I always assume that I have none. I also figured that I would never hear back from the professor I emailed at Exeter since it was over a month ago. But low and behold, a letter from Jeremy Black, Full professor at Exeter. I open it up and it is a scribbled note on the back of some other piece of paper, obviously done very quickly, saying he would be delighted to supervise my PhD. Motivation for the time being restored! Tonight I will try and draft up a proposal for it and then get it sent in by the end of this week.
What do I want to spend three years researching?

Squeezing in work

2009-04-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

I have an hour before I have to be in class. I woke up some time ago, but then I took the time to make myself lunch. By the time I finished my lunch I had about 2 hours left before class. I am working on one of my essays and just cannot seem to dive into it. The lack of motivation is most likely because of the short amount of time that I have before my class. I get out of class at 6. I usually do not like doing work after 7 because honestly I don't like it, unless it is really interesting and then I might make an exception. Today I might have to ignore my dislikes and go to the library after class. I really want to get this Roman history essay done by the end of the week. If I can do that, I have 15 days to get my last essay done, which should be more than enough time.
I do work well under pressure because lets be honest, I have to get these papers done in the next two weeks. I have tried this semester to do work earlier in order to space it out more and to have a better quality of paper. So instead, I mess up my first deadline because I wanted to work on a different paper for a little while in order to space it all out. End up writing the rest of the paper and editing in two hours. I can't seem to wrap my head around these papers. I do like to write, sometimes, but it seems these papers don't interest me as much as they should or I thought would have when I was 1)thinking of doing the course last year and 2) when I came up with the topic for myself in the class.
I've become so obsessed with this practicality issue I have that my work now is suffering. I need to just focus on what I am doing and get it done. I cannot sit around all day and say "this research does not have any practical application, so why am I doing it?" Where's the practicality in that? I end up sitting around all day and do nothing, except a few notes here and there.
It makes it sound like I don't do any work. Those days are not the majority of my days, but ones that seem to creep up on me once or twice a week. If I can get to the library before I start thinking like this, I am usually free and clear for the rest of the day.
The library is going to be a shit show as well. More than likely there won't be anywhere to sit on any given day during the week. Hopefully getting there at 6 will make it easier.

It's a crummy day outside and makes me just want to crawl back into bed.
I will be fairly busy the next two weeks and then after that I have to try and get a head start on my dissertation..See how that goes.

I need some Chicken Joes. That may be on the menu for lunch tomorrow.

Not my finest day.

2009-04-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

So today I wake up and prepare for my 11am class. Satisfied with what I had done, I went to class. I was a bit nervous as well since I had a presentation to make in my second class of the day. All is fine, the sun is shining and the day could not look better. Sitting in class my friend Lucy asks me, "You handed in your essay on Monday then, yeah?" ... "What essay?" ... "Oh the War & Society essay, it was due on Monday." ...shit...
Needless to say I got up and went out the door and back to my room to finish the paper. Luckily I had 3000 words already written or else I would have been ridiculously screwed. So I write the 1000 words or about that much and I get the bibliography done. I edited a few lines here and there. It is definitely not my best work as I did all this within an hour 1/2. I would have liked to have been able to take my time in revising it...so much for that.
I get to the computer lab in the history building to print out my paper. Error message: Does not have enough funds in account to print this document....
...
Are you kidding me?

Luckily my friend was sitting near me and I asked her if I could borrow some of her credit and have her print it from her computer. Okay...
....not enough credit...
okay okay...
I end up having to go to my next class to make my presentation. I was last and again almost didn't have enough time to finish, so I felt rushed. They said the topic was fairly large and to see if I couldn't narrow it down a bit, which I was already intending to do.
I asked Lucy if she had some credit and luckily she did. Feeling bad I only printed one copy and said I would photocopy the other. So after she left and I logged off of her account. I went to go make copies. 3/4 of the way through.... "Out of A4 paper"... again. what the hell.
The room next to the copier was open and I poked my head in and asked for a few sheets of paper.
I printed them, stapled them, and put them in the box for papers, and went on my way...

I'm a bit burnt out at the moment. I came back and had to tidy up a bit. Today is not going so hot right now so I think I'm going to lie low. The only thing good to come out of today is the fact that the paper is done and I only have 2 to do now...time to sit here and drink some Baileys..

sigh.

Back in action

2009-04-20T11:08:00.001-07:00

I am now back in Nottingham, back to the daily grind, back to the fun filled research and writing. I think I am getting a little tired of doing research. I find that I am more of a practical person, which is strange because I like history and it's not have so much of a practical application. It may be that this MA is my last academic expedition (for now, with possibilities afterwards.) I did apply to Nottingham for my PhD, but I need to see if I get in first and foremost, and then talk to Spencer to see how comfortable he will be supervising the topic that I have come up with. We'll see. It might be good to get some work experience under my belt (whatever that may be) and then come back to it later on. It's a hard decision to make, because it is very uncertain if I could even get a job at home. I am wary to enter the job market at such a time where it is possibly the worst circumstances to obtain one in the past 50 years. Unemployment is so high right now that I do not want to be another to add to those numbers. Yes, I'll have a college education, but so many other people do as well. Yes, I'll have a MA as well, but those are also becoming fairly common. I have many options, but who knows what will happen and I can't apply anywhere until I know for sure if I will be going home, or that I will have to wait until I get home to apply at all.

Anyways, Vacation was good. The parents came up to Nottingham and we walked through Beeston...even though it was raining. I showed them campus a bit and they got to meet my supervisor Gwilym. For dinner we met Hannah over to Frankie and Benny's. (That will make you happy Night Hawk.) I had my usual Chicken Penne Romana. YUM. ^_^
The next day we got on a train to Bath. Stopped in Birmingham station and got on another train to Bristol. Stupid girl on the train pretending to be asleep so we wouldn't make her get out of our seat. I shoulda just roundhouse kicked her out of the way, but it was kind of a confined area, which I will blame not doing it on. We get to Bath.
"So where is the hotel from here?" -Me.
"I don't know" - Mom, "
"What's the address?"
"Dunno"
"Phone number?"
"Don't know"
"Hmm."
My mom had forgotten to bring directions to the B&B with her and we didn't have the address either so we couldn't get a taxi. Luckily I had my POS phone with me and managed to look it up.
We got to the B&B and it is basically a townhouse converted into a B&B with a possible four families to stay in. The owner was an old (we think either Italian or Portuguese) woman who had lived in the UK for more than 50 years, and still spoke very very broken English. The B&B also looked like my Nana's house. Yellow walls, with a couch sitting on the floor that you kinda just fall into and can't get out of because they cut the legs off to get it in the house. The bathroom had a tub with a shower head, but nothing to hold the shower head at a standing height... I hate those. Every morning she made a full english breakfast for everyone staying there though, which was nice. It was quite musty in there as old people's houses tend to be. It rightly stuffed my head up and my nose. So I was almost taken out of action as my head felt like a block of concrete.

We did a day trip to Stonehenge and Avesbury. Stonehenge was nice, except for all the people and the fact you can't go anywhere near the stones. Avesbury was a little village which was alright I suppose. I hate those mini-bus tours. Hour here, hour there, there is no time to really get to see anyplace. Also the fact that they are cramped and hot and annoying does not help the matter. It was a decent day trip and the driver was pretty good so it didn't suck.

On Easter we took it easy and walked around a bit. We went to a Tavern (pub) for an early dinner, which was pretty good. We walked around the park and the gardens in that area of Bath for awhile before going back to the B&B.

Monday we just walked around and saw the Roman Baths and sat in one of the little parks near the river, as it was quite a nice day out. We also took the double decker bus tour and drove it around Bath. That wasn't too bad. I liked sitting in the park.

Tuesday we made our way on the train to London, checked into the hotel and relaxed awhile before going to dinner.
Wednesday we went to the Tower. I had never been in there so I was happy we were going. I wasn't really that impressed with it though. I was kinda disappointed at the White Tower and how little it had in it.
Thursday it was raining. We went to see La Cage aux Folles (the Birdcage) and then we went to see I love you, Man. Which was a hilarious movie.
Friday, we met up with my parent's friends who are currently living in the UK and we walked around a bit with them. We went to the British Museum, went to Westminster Abbey, which ended up being closed 10 minutes before we got there and otherwise just sat around in a pub chatting. It was a good day, I think we walked the most that day.
Saturday we caught the changing of the guard and went in Westminster Abbey. We also got tickets to go see Wicked. So we went back and took a rest at the hotel before we went out again to go see the play, which as so happens was pretty good.
Sunday they got up at 6 and left at 7 for the airport. Said our goodbyes before they left, and then I had to wake up again at 930 and meet my friend at Victoria to ride back to Nottingham.

All in all it was a good trip and I got to see my parents, whom I haven't seen in awhile, and won't get to see again for another while. It was a nice break from working, as I didn't do really any work while I was there.

Writing all of this was basically putting off doing work, as I did work today before my class and then I had my presentation for my Roman paper. After that I was burnt out. So I will do a little bit of work tonight to prepare for more work for tomorrow. And so I don't feel like a lazy bum. Back to work work work.

Easter Break.

2009-04-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well, as most know I am on Easter Break. My parents arrived today and tomorrow we will be heading down to Bath for a few days and then to London afterwords. I will be back in Nottingham on the 19th where there will be much work to done. It will be nice to go and relax for a bit. I may update once, possibly twice if you are lucky while I am gone. I have to bring my computer to get some work done...bah.

LOTR?

2009-04-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

A shadow has been growing in my mind? That shadow is lack of motivation to do a PhD at all right now. I think I'm about ready to move on from the academics for awhile. Hmm. What to do.

Moving ever so slowly forward.

2009-04-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I think I've just about narrowed down my proposal topic for my Nottingham application. It's not quite finished, but it will be 'US/UK, the Middle East, an oily problem: The Middle Eastern nationalization of oil, military funds, and the US/UK in the 1970's.' My Exeter proposal will be more militarily based, but I have yet to decide on a definite topic for that. We'll see how it goes as I mailed the professor there who would be my supervisor.
Thursday my parents are coming to visit for 10 days. I am quite excited that they are coming, as I haven't seen them since Christmas, and won't see them again afterwords until July or August. It will be a nice break from my work and stress...even though I will have to bring some work with me.. I have a lot to get done in the next month 1/2: Two applications, Three Essays, Three proposals, and a few presentations. Once the essays are done in May I will have to start doing research for my dissertation and I have until the end of September to do it.
I am pretty happy with the work I've gotten done in the past few days. So I am going to treat myself to a doner kebab and watch High Fidelity.

One side note: I procrastinate on occasion, if you can believe that, and I thought you might all like to know exactly what I do when I sit here staring at my monitor. The links on here are what I pretty much do with those little spaces.
Random Pantheon of Gods.
Little Puzzles that will drive you crazy.
F My Life - always gives me a boost to look at stupid things people do.
An Interesting look at Garfield Comics without Garfield...poor Jon Arbukle
Penny Arcade - Basically an online comic based in the gaming world.
Where I usually get some of my news.

Paint by Number

2009-04-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

So, as from below you can tell that I did get rejected from all four schools that I applied to in the U.S. for my PhD. I'm still applying to Nottingham and to Exeter in the U.K.
If I get into Exeter, I will be still going home and I will do a sort of distance PhD. Basically I will just do a majority of my research from the States and come back to the UK now and again to show my progress. If I get into Nottingham, I'm not really sure how I am going to work it out. I suppose it depends on how much money I get from the school.
I have other options I am looking at as well. Teaching High school is one of them, and applying to a couple positions are some others. Depending on what happens, I may end up going home for a couple weeks to get some applications out and visit some places. We'll see. I figured I would have everything all sorted out by now, but of course with the way things have worked out, I get to wait that much longer. I probably won't know until June at the least, which is a bit scary and calling it a little close.
I've been going to the library for the past couple of days. Getting some work done, although not as fast as I was hoping, unfortunately. I left behind my first essay, 'Bushido and Chivalry' for now, I just couldn't edit it like I wanted to currently. I will go back to it later with fresh eyes and tear it apart. Now I am working on my Roman history essay. That is going much nicer than I had thought it was going to go. My third essay for my class named, 'Siege, pillage, and slaughter,' I have yet to even think of...which could be a bad thing as I always have a hard time thinking of what to write. We'll see how it goes. I have two more days to get in as much work as I can before my parents come. I'm looking forward to that, but not the days before hand. I have to think of my proposals as well before then and get them written and send out the applications and such soon.
I know I've been slacking on the updates, especially on the Paris trip. As much as I would just love to sit here and type it all up, you would be better off looking at Adrianne's account of the trip on her page. She has some good pictures as well. I just can't be bothered right now lol, so maybe when I get back from the trip.

Paint by Number: Made life so much easier. My life should be paint by number, that way everything would have it's colour. Unfortunately I'm colour blind and it would all look the same anyways... Just kidding. That would suck wouldn't it, if I made that analogy forgetting I was, or something. Anyways. Moving on... wait moving out. Bye!

You know what?

2009-04-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

Temple can go to Hell too. :P

Yep. 0 for 4 is the final count for me. I plan on applying to Nottingham and maybe to Exeter too. But really maybe only Nottingham, and I will only be going if I can get a full scholarship, where if its like any sign from the other schools, I won't be getting it. So it leaves me to actually now have to consider my other options that I wasn't really too serious about before... crap.

Anyways, Besides having my Paris trip sandwiched inbetween two shitty days, I did enjoy myself in Paris. It was a bit rainy on and off for the few days, but we managed pretty well. I will update day by day stuff a bit later when I have more time, along with some pictures.

Rwr/Sigh.

F...

2009-03-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

Penn State can go to hell.
0 for 3. Whatever.
Time for Paris.

Penn State

2009-03-24T06:43:00.001-07:00

They sent their letters out yesterday, should find out this week...

And still waiting.

2009-03-24T04:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm still waiting for the last two schools to get in touch with me. I would like to know what's going on. So I've started the, 'I'm calling you everyday until someone picks up that damn phone,' campaign. Hopefully it will work. As I've called Temple a bajillion times since February and I think I got them to pick up the phone once. I highly doubt their phones are ringing off the hook. So today I may just call twice.
I'm going to Paris on Thursday, gonna meet up with Adrianne. Should be a good time. She's never been, and I always like walking around cities and seeing all the cool stuff in museums again. I haven't really spent too much time in the Louvre, so we'll be definitely going there.
Because I am going to Paris on Thursday, I have two days to get a little bit of work done. I am hoping to alter/finish up the essay that I had started already. Right now my motivation is low, so I'm hoping to squeeze it in before I go.
I really need to be in the right frame of mind to do work, I need to wake up and feel that I am at least capable of doing a good amount of work. Or if not, after my shower I need to feel it. Otherwise I just have a hard time grasping on to that motivation I need. I'll get the essays done, I always get them done, it just varies on how early I get them done. This semester has taught me that getting it done a bit earlier really doesn't get me any further, because I'll end up having to change it anyways. Gar.
Anyways, Must go start some work.

Shite shite shite quick quick quick

2009-03-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

So, London, was there a week, it was a good time, I'll get back to that in a minute.

I just realized that time has caught up with me a bit faster than I had expected and it is now almost April. I was planning on applying to UK PhD programs as well and I am seeing now that I should have done it sooner as many Scholarship deadlines are the end of March/Beginning of June. Shite shite shite. The problem with this is, it means I now have to very gingerly and gently (more like pleading with tears coming down) to get a few more recommendations from some professors. I'm thinking Meriwether from home and then hopefully Gwilym here will as well. As if I haven't already asked enough from the two of them...If I had known better I would have asked Meriwether to do one while I was here and just make some copies or something of it...
So I have this week to do this if I am to try and get funding for it. Otherwise. Whoosh. NO chance at getting funding from many places. Which would pretty much obliterate any idea of staying here for a PhD. I've decided on Nottingham, Exeter, and I think Kings College as well. I know some people will say, you are only applying to Exeter because Meriwether went there. Well there is that, and that would be cool, but also the fact that the Professor Jeremy Black who is there, who is pretty much a foremost expert on Military history and the subject as a whole, I have two, maybe three of his many books that he has written. That and it is one place that if I get funding, it could possibly be for the whole kitten kaboodle. Should they accept me for it. So I have that in mind as well. If I can't get funding then studying here is just a no go. Also, should I do it here, it is only 3 years instead of 5. Which would be very very nice. The problem with that is that because it goes right into the research aspect of a PhD, that you need to submit a research proposal as a part of your application.... something that I do not currently have...crap.
I also haven't heard from the two PA schools yet. I'm getting impatient.

Anyways, Back to London. It was a good time. I did not know anyone on the trip so most of the time Meriwether and I walked around and chatted a bunch. Cracked some jokes, talked about people, talked about research and schools and such. I went to a few places I had been to already, such as the Imperial War Museum, the British Library, The Mall, but then I also went to a bunch of places I hadn't been to before, such as the Royal Cavalry Museum, The old Roman city wall (it was more of a walk of where it was and to see different parts that have survived,) and Brighton down by the coast, which was alright. It was very strange though to be in London and not have it either be really cloudy or raining. It was sunny and bright and fairly warm pretty much all week. Very strange for an English city, but I was all for it. I have some pictures and I will put them up tomorrow or something after I've looked through them. I didn't take too many pictures though as I had seen most of the things previously.

Now I am back in Nottingham, panicking once again about my future, as everyone else figures out theirs. Adrianne got into Brown, and my friend Chris is going to Pittsburgh, people are figuring out where they are living here next year, where they are all going. Everyone seems to have it all figured out for the most part. I'm sort of just floating around right now, trying to land feet first and not head first. I suppose it all usually works out, but I am a little more nervous right now about it, as I can either continue on the way I am, or have a complete change and do something else. That in itself is a scary thought. I mostly just want to know where I'll be living. I'd at least be a little more comfortable with that. But no. Who knows, because I don't.
I should have thought of this stuff sooner so then I wouldn't have to rush it this week...

Continuing on.

2009-03-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

Looking at the changes I need to make to my paper, I realize that they are not too bad. I have to change a few lines here and there I think, but otherwise I can keep a lot of what I already have. Most of the changes will occur in the Bushido part of the paper, with few edits here and there within the Chivalry sections. I need to add a few points into the paper, and look more deeply into others. It will be a challenge as I will be gone through this week, but when I get back I will have to go to the library in order to find sources for the information that I have. Unfortunately I cannot reference my seminar discussion on friday for the changes and ideas in my paper. So I am thinking that this week I will rewrite the parts that I need to rewrite and then go back and find the sources for them and add in a few quotes here and there. It should work out okay.

I bought Magic cards yesterday. Made me think of school and the few months that it seemed we were completely obsessed with them. I figure it is okay that I bought some as long as I am going to play them. I fully intend to play a bit and if I don't, then I didn't spend too much money on them, so Oh well.

The past few days there has been a trend growing. It's really bright in the morning and through out midday. Then at about 2 oclock the clouds move in and block out the sun. It gets a bit windier and a little colder and usually there is a chance for rain. I don't mind that kind of day as long as I am up to see the sun before it disappears.
We moved some of the bosses outside today. This week/next week we are starting to shoot outside and at longer distances. Should be fun, I always liked to shoot outside. As when I did shoot at home it was really never inside. I was told that some people who shoot really well inside do not fare too well outside. Hopefully it just evens everyone out again. That would be nice.

This week I'll be in London, and I will have my computer, but whether or not I can get online is another thing. We'll see what happens. If not then I'll just update this and such when I am back on friday. I am hoping that while I am there I can get some British Library stuff sorted so that I may be able to go there during my breaks and over the summer if I need to.
I should be getting back to my essay, but after Friday I am really weary of looking at it right now. I forced myself today for a few hours, but now I think I am just going to relax and do my own thing....and laundry.

I'll be gone til Friday, here for a week, and then gone again next thursday to go to Paris. Then back here for another week and then down to London to pick the parents up from the airport.
Looking forward to the next few weeks.

Next monday I have an appointment with Spencer, the professor who is in charge of the MA program here. I am meeting with him to see if he would be interested in supervising me for a PhD. We'll be talking about various topics that he covers (which is mostly UK involvement and diplomacy in the Middle East and past colonies of the commonwealth) and hopefully work something out. This will just give me another option for me to choose from, and an option at all should the remaining two applications go south.
I have a lot of things to think about in the next month as to what I will be doing / starting in the Fall. I am teetering on staying, should I be able to do my PhD here, that is if I am able to. Everything is up in the air, and I am just waiting for the coin toss to finish spinning and to fall on one side. Then I can decide which side of the coin I called when it was in the air... ^-^

I'd almost rather be wrong?

2009-03-13T07:43:00.001-07:00

I had a presentation today on one of my essays due in May. My war and society essay. It is supposed to be on the comparison of Chivalry and Bushido. It was on how Chivalry declines and how Bushido evolves. Ultimately, the way I had it written so far, was off. A smidgen. Or was it a smidgen? I have to rework most of what I have already written (3000 words out of 4000.) But this also means that I have to go back and find sources for these changed ideas. Luckily I don't have to change all of it. I'm very tempted to just go for the change of Chivalry from the medieval period to the Early modern period, but I have an idea that I might just use that idea for my other essay and basically have half of it written. I came away from that presentation completely dejected in what I had written, and now I'm feeling a bit better about it, but now I have to spend loads more time on it than I had wanted to without focusing more on my other essays. This will be done by the end of next week. Then the week in between trips I will work on my Roman history paper. Then in between the next trips I will work on my third essay. RAWR, I wanted to break something I was so mad this morning.
Don't you just hate it when you work a realllly long time on something and you find you had a flaw about 2 steps into the 10 step process? After you have already done the 10 steps. DOH.
RAWR.
The Office was able to quell my pissed-off-ness a bit, and I think I'll have a nap to resolve the rest of my frustration currently. Then I will wake up, do laundry, and tidy up a bit and then review the notes I made.

Sigh.
Very frustrating process. Which is why I almost wish there was no presentation, I had finished my essay and just handed it in. We'll see how the paper comes out now.

What does this mean? lol

2009-03-12T04:41:00.000-07:00

Dear JOSHUA:
  
The Penn State Office of Student Aid has received your 
2009-10 Free Application for Federal Student Aid 
(FAFSA). If we need further information we will 
contact you.

So? Then it goes on to talk about New students and Current Students. I am neither.
Does this mean I got in? Or is this just a tease to say, "HAHA we haven't told you yet."


On a side note. I am 700 words off of my first essay being done. I spent about 6 hours
in the library for the second 1500 words of it. Will be done before I
go to London. London on monday! :D

Some pictures.

2009-03-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

Me Shooooting

Me and James

James, Sam, Me

Rhys, George, Stacey
Amy, Laura, Me, Chris

Busy busy this week

2009-03-10T02:40:00.000-07:00

I do have to run in about 5 minutes so this will be a bit short.
I have to go to a presentation for someone's essay. The same type of presentation that I will be doing on friday. It's about a 20 minute presentation based on the topic that we will be writing on for our essays that are due in May. I suppose it is a good half way point and a way to see what the supervisors think of what we have been doing thus far on the essay. It is the core module of the course that we are doing, so it is fairly important. I'm not prepared for the presentation yet, as I've been working on the essay itself, which will hopefully help me in my presentation. So we'll see.
It's been hard to squeeze in time for the essay/presentation though. My courses have decided that they want us to do a lot of reading this week and break up into groups in order to 'specialize' for the class. Which basically means having to read all of what we are assigned instead of taking bits from here and there. Which takes a bit more time I have found. I spent yesterday just doing the reading for that night. Today I will try and do my presentation and work more on my essay. But first this two hour presentation to sit through.

I will be in London next week, but I will be bringing work with me. I will pretty much be bringing something to read for my essays everywhere that I go in the next month.

I have an extra 4250 words to write this semester than I did last semester. Which means a lot more researching. I was off to a jog, and a bit of a walk for about a week, now I'm heading into a full on sprint, which I will have to keep up if I want to finish in the time necessary.

And I'm off! *Boom*

My weekend Hair.

2009-03-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

It is currently shorter now, and on Wednesday it will be brown again. So nobody panic.

Eyyy.

My back was sore the next day. But he is as light as Willy.

I am doing work

2009-03-08T16:15:00.001-07:00

I am doing work and working hard. Writing writing writing. :P heh
1500 words down on my 1st essay. Presentation on friday. Should be good.
I know I usually write more about archery than school, so that will change.

In a specific direction.

2009-03-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

It's all going somewhere eventually, me that is. I eventually will find out from Temple and from Penn State. That will determine what I will be doing. Once I find that out, I will finally be in control over what I want to do. 0 for 2 now. Both Rochester and Brown have passed.
I was fairly annoyed/downtrodden on Saturday morning as I woke up at 630 in the morning to get ready. I decided to put it out of my mind for the most part while I was shooting. It worked, getting out of my head anyways. However it did not make me shoot better. In fact, I shot 60 points worse that I usually do.
So after we shot we went back to Rhys' house for a bbq. Had some kielbasa and a hamburger and plenty of JD and coke. Needless to say I felt a bit better. I also went to the social after everyone else shot at Loughborough. We went back since it was only a half hour away. It was a pretty good time. It was worth it just to see some of the members of the club dance.
Today I am sore all over. I suppose it was from putting my friend Adds on my shoulders and walking about 3-400 yards towards where the social was.
I have about a week to get a lot of stuff done before London, and the intermitten times I have back in between trips.
For now I don't have time to be worked up or annoyed at what else is going on, I have to do my work. This week I won't have as many distractions...such as reading Watchmen and watching the entire first season of Heroes.
Also, when I put up some pictures you may notice something different about my hair...no worries as it does grow still and it will go back to normal...specifically to my mother who will probably not want to travel with me. :P
Pictures will be up when they become available to me.

Pondering the Clouds

2009-03-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

Fuck.

Excuse my french.
O for 2..
So much for RI in the fall.

Will start to more seriously consider other options for fall.
Bed now.
Up at 630am for a competition.
It better go well.

Spring or the False hope of one?

2009-03-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Well, the past week it has been warm and semi-sunny. 50's or so I would say with a slight breeze. Is it Spring? I don't know. I'm assuming it will get cold in the next week or so since home has a nice big snow storm going right now. That will eventually make its way here I assume. But anyways, it has been nice to catch the light of the sun and the warm feeling that spring makes you have, thinking, "Thank god that gloom is over with." Alas, I do live in England, so I don't know how short lived this sunshine actually is. I can only hope that it will be around for a few hours a day before it rains some more. It is also March...February seemed to have come and gone without me noticing much and without doing much work at that. Hmm. Maybe March will be a month of productivity for me, 1) because so far I've done almost more work and more reading in March than I think in 3 weeks of February, and 2) I have to...With the break coming up on March 20th, I will be taking that week to go to London for Meriwether's trip. I'll be bringing some books with me of course to do some work, but it won't be as productive as if I were here. Six days after that I will be meeting Adrianne in Paris for a long weekend. So in that 6 days I need to get a lot done as well, because then just 9 days after that my most wonderful Parents will be coming (:D) hehe. for 10 days. So once the 16th comes, I have 15 days to get work done until the 20th of April. After that I have until the 10th to finish one essay and then the 15th of May to finish the other two. Even if I can get one of the essays done this week, I will be so much the better. I also have a presentation due on the 13th...Friday....ack. I'm not usually one for superstition, but Friday the 13th...a presentation... THANK GOD ITS NOT ASSESSED! Also, I think about 9 Black cats have crossed in front of me since I have been here....Oh well. heh.
No word yet from anymore schools. I'm getting quite nervous, but I've decided that even if I don't get into any of them, that I'll be fine, I'll just do something else. I've already decided that I want to keep doing archery as much as I possibly can and also I want to try and do some more karate or something like that German Longsword class I was in.

On a side note...why is there Arabic on the Cadbury Chocolate milk drink box??

Either way, I will have things to do. At least my hobbies are set, so I suppose no matter what I do, school or job, fun or miserable, I will have things that make me happy. Time for class.

Yeah yeah yeah

2009-02-26T10:31:00.000-08:00

I received complaints about not updating this enough. That past week has been full of archery, work, pub, and impatience. Still do not know anything else about the other schools. I have however finally put a nail on what I am going to do for my essay. Had a little break-through at the library today. I really would like to have this essay done by next week as this week was bogged down with trying to just get the topic down. I get antsy in the library. Next time I'll bring my laptop and get some of the essay down in digital.
I made some awesome pancakes the other day. Chocolate Chip Buttermilk. Excellent. Will be making those often in the future.
Started playing a game called Munchkin. It's a card game, and is reminiscent of Dungeons and Dragons but a little bit of a spoof of it. It's good fun, hang out with friends and play it. I don't have too much to update on, as this week has been just a normal week, with nothing too outlandish happening. I can dig up some pictures I suppose.

Stacey and I were the only ones at the ceremony to not get a medal. My friend James went home, but he didn't get one either. This was a regional shoot in Sherwood.

This was taken at the 'marina.' It's kinda just a canal.
(Nicola, James, Joe, Stacey, Malex, Me, not pictured Hannah)

This is me napping before our competition Saturday in Warwick.

After Warwick we had some food, and had a cake for James' birthday. I call him Shortbeard, or James, or Vanilla Bear (Scrubs reference). Just to note, this is a different James than the one pictured above in the b&w picture.

This was at the shoot. There's me. I didn't do as well as I had hoped to do. But I did better yesterday.

Schools 1, Josh 0

2009-02-19T15:46:00.000-08:00

I got rejected in an email from Rochester. I had figured that would have been the easier one to get into. Not off to a good start, eh?
I'm reading a lot for one of my essays as well, but nothing is coming out of it as far as useful notes and a direction for the essay.
I suck at Snooker. lol but luckily my partner is good so we still beat the other two heh.
I have a competition on Saturday, I didn't get much out of the shooting I've done so far this week, so I'm hoping tomorrow night will get me back in the groove. I need to shoot well on Saturday.
I'm surprisingly in an okay mood despite the lack of positiveness going on. heh. I guess the change in the weather has been mostly the cause.
I wanted to get out of my funk on Wednesday. So at the pub we went to they had 4 pints for under 10 quid. Which was nice. Not feeling particularly well this morning though. heh. I did have a fun time walking back from the pub with my friends as I proceeded to jump in every single puddle I could find. My new favorite hobby. There is no way to be bad at that! Unless of course I jumped in one and twisted my ankle or something. heh.
Anyways I'm crossing my fingers for a good weekend and a good week coming. I need it to be good as well as productive.

Here's hoping.

Friday Bloody Friday.

2009-02-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

So since the last time I posted, I had my usual week. Did some work, did some lounging, went to archery and went to the pub.
Friday, went to my paleography class. For those who don't know, Paleography is basically the study of old handwriting. It involves transcribing old documents into readable text. Which to me is quite interesting. Yes, My knowledge of Latin/German/Italian/Old English should be much better than it is, although I do recognize most of the words I am reading, I find it to be a very practical subject to study. You learn something, then you put it to good use. So that class, even though it is optional, isn't too bad.
So I did some work and then went to Karate.
This week, again, we had the instructor that we don't particularly care for. It is him, his two daughters and two sons. The oldest daughter is his 'assistant.' She is also the most thick person in the world, both physically and mentally. Neither of them are the brightest star in the sky, far from it. Now I've done this type of karate before, at RWU, with Brian. He taught me how to do it all properly, so right now I'm not really having a problem with it. So when they are telling me to slide my feet more across the floor, I'm thinking, No. I'm doing it the right way. But no, it's not good enough for them so I have to do it wrong so they'll shut up and move on. My two friends, James and Stacey are also there, thinking the same thing. Stupid people not able to tell two sets of people what to do at the same time. We're also not learning anything new with this guy. He just tells us to do what we've been doing for the past three weeks, while he teaches his kid and this one other guy that is there. BS. Needless to say we may be switching classes if this guy keeps showing up instead of the other one.
On to the teaching it wrong. So I'm trying to get him off my back, so I start sliding my foot more on the ground. Now we have the class in a church hall. Half the floor is carpet, half the floor is unfinished hardwood. Perhaps poorly finished hardwood would be the better suggestion. So we always start on the carpet and when we move around we occasionally tread on the wood floor. Which makes me very uneasy, and I had said the previous week that I had gotten a giant splinter from my old house because of the floorboards.
Anyways. While trying to get them off my back, I glide my foot over some part of the wood floor and....slice. I hobble over the the near by table and look at the bottom of my foot. Theres a pretty good looking gash in it, and I'm thinking, "Shit, a giant splinter in my foot." As I'm looking at my foot, it just starts gushing blood and in seconds completely covers my foot in blood. So I hold up my foot with my hands, and it completely covers both of my hands as well, and starts dripping on the floor. Meanwhile, the instructor is pawing through the first aid kit he has, fairly slowly, I might add, as my foot is just a giant literal bloody mess. Finally he gets something to wrap it with, and wraps it as tight as he can. Obviously not trained in this, my foot swells up later on because of how tight it is. But before he does this, he asks me if I think there is a splinter in it. I say I don't know if there is or not. So he dabs some of the blood away and sticks a pair of tweesers into the wound. Then opens them and closes them. Pulls out. Nothing. Okay, I guess there is nothing there he says.... WOW BRILLIANT TECHNIQUE WITH THE MEDKIT MY FRIEND.... So we wrap it up and try and clean up as much as we can. The people are going to think someone got murdered in the church or something. That blood made a giant stain in the wood.
So we leave fairly soon after all this happened. Giving my two friends a reason to escape the rest of the class (which was still proceeding during all of this). So we go to the QMC (Queens medical center) which is the hospital literally right next to the campus. Stacey waits with me and James goes to archery, which is right after karate. He has the car so he'll pick us up afterwards. So we wait, for two hours. During which we got to see some very interesting sights, including but not limited to a drunk guy laying on the floor refusing to leave. Then getting dragged by one arm and one leg out the door by two policemen. Awesome. I finally got seen, by this time my foot was going numb because of how tight the bandage was. But I'm thinking it's because I hit some nerve or something. So I get seen, the nurse cleans it all up and we look at it. The cut is like less than an inch wide, but it goes pretty deep. Luckily there was no splinter in it. But we were kind of worried before because it had bled so much. So they put some butterfly stiches on it, which are basically small bandaids and then one larger one over it. Today it's feeling better, but still hurts a bit when I walk on it.
Saturday I had a competition. Oh Joy, walking on my foot all day hurray! But it all went well anyways, I suppose. I shot a 451, which I was disappointed in because I wanted to do better, but was happy about because I shot over a 450, which was the goal for the day.
Today, at practice though, I did much better and shot a 480. 30 points better than my previous PB (Personal Best). Next stop 500...hopefully.
And now for the rest of the day I am going to relax. I am tired and have much work to do this week.

Today today

2009-02-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

Well, this morning I woke up thinking, "Crap, I should do work, I don't want to do work, I don't want to do anything." Then I did a bit of reading and ate some lunch. My mood slowly turned. I started to read a book I bought about doing a masters dissertation. Of course it tells me what everyone usually tells me, especially my mother, about concentrating on doing the dissertation and not think about whats post-masters program. I read in the book that people who think about whats afterward, such as a potential job or another program tend to be more likely to drop out of their program. I thought of that more and more, and through out the day thought more of what I wanted to do. Weighing the pros and cons of everything still leaves me at a stand still depending on what school I get into. So that decision may still be made for me, I don't really know. I'm going to try and be more optimistic about things and try not to drag my feet. I'm also going to try to forget for the time being that I even applied anywhere for next year. That way I don't think about it every day when I try to find out from my parents whether or not I got anything in the mail.
I think I've figured out what I need to do, and just try and maintain that for the rest of the time.
Meanwhile I am going to archery again tonight. This will make 5 times in one week.

Quick

2009-02-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

I'm going to go see the Punisher soon, so I'll make this quick.
Went to the competition today. The place was an old warehouse...meaning it was freezing cold. Just about as cold as it was outside. But all in all my score was 449, 1 pt from 450! RAWR. hehe. Anyways, it was my personal best thus far, and I hope to do better tomorrow morning at practice. I'm hoping that within two weeks that I can get up to 500. Fingers crossed.

My Usual

2009-02-06T06:39:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you should know already that I have numerous days where I start to freak out in my head about whatever it is I am going to do with my future. I panic about what I will do and pretty much become as useless as bits of lettuce in my doner kebab. Seriously, why bother with the salad in the kebab when it is already that bad for you? It just takes from the deliciousness of the kebab. Anyways, I've had about 3 of these days in the past two weeks, two of them being in the past four days. A lot of it is just my impatience for decisions from schools at home. Today it was the fact that I got my second essay back. I got a 60 on my first one. Which is about a B- or so I guess? It's called a 2:2 or something, I still cannot get used to this grading system. Anyways today I got my 2nd essay back. 56.. This luckily is only a 15 credit class so it does not count as much as my 20 credit classes, but still. That is unacceptable for someone, me, at this level of education. Looking / remember what I was writing, it was just pure unintelligible drivil. I had assumed that because I took a risk and did a more difficult topic than most in the class that I would possibly be given a little bit of leniency. Not the case. Lesson learned. Time to move to easier topics and get a better result. Instead of deciding whether or not World Systems Analysis is a reliable method of reviewing International / Global history and thus macro-history, I will instead do what most other people did: Whether or not biography is useful history or not. Wow. Honestly, I had so much more useless anthropological and historical jargon in my essay and in my reading than I knew what to do with, and some I did not even understand let alone be able to assess. Hmm Biography? Hmm... Yeah. Next time, it'll be the topics 'biography' for me.
These circumstances of my essay grades also lead me to doubt my writing capabilities as well as my drive for these endeavors. I like to do the research, but I hate writing a paper over 3 thousand words. It's just annoying, and the research I am going to do will never ever even matter in the slightest in the grand scheme of things. It is completely impractical and starting to feel like a giant waste of time. Yes, I am getting experience and gaining all of these wonderful abilities to analyse and assess written documents, but god, there is no useful application of any of it. I don't find it challenging, there is no answer for me to find, no problem to solve. No practicality.
I took a lot of time today and thought about what all this means. It means that if I decide to continue my academic career into the PhD realm, that it will be for modern military history and practical uses of such. Otherwise, I need to do something practical with my life. I don't want to spend my life with my head stuck in books, filled with dust three inches thick, writing on something that in all honesty, probably nobody actually gives a crap about, or at least 98% of the global population. Yes it is interesting, but I've found it's not enough. What the hell.
I actually thought about joining the Navy or something. Who knows. All I know is this doesn't help my predicament of having a solid foundation for my future. In fact, it creates even more shaky ground than previously.
Oy.
Karate tonight and Archery this weekend will hopefully take my mind off of this for now.
I'm driving myself bat shit crazy.

Oxford and Snow?

2009-02-02T06:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I'll start with Friday night.
Started going to a karate class. Luckily most of it is based in Shotakan which is what we did at Roger Williams. So a lot of the basics I sort of already know, I just didn't tell them how much I knew. It was interesting and the guy teaching it didn't really seem to know what he was necessarily teaching and his daughter who was helping him teach was as thick as the Beech Tree at my old house in Windsor... so like, almost 5 ft. I don't know how that translates into thickness but lets say the average person is like a sapling. Lots of punching and my shoulders and arms were pretty sore after that...so where did we go next?
To Archery for friday night practice...Which was alright. I'm still getting used to the bow...but then!
Saturday! Archery Competition in Oxford. 2 hour ride down there. I was pretty sore and on top of that I got a 401, which I can do with a club bow. Let's just say I was pretty disappointed with myself.
After Archery we went to this "American" resturaunt. I got the big burger. It was okay at first because all I could really taste was the BBQ sauce on it. But once I actually tasted the burger I was pretty much done with it...as in I ate about 3/4 of it and stopped because it just wasn't any good. Started feeling a bit ill.
Sunday morning I felt okay. Went to archery, but my arms were just so sore that I only shot a couple rounds. I started getting a fever while there. I came back and took a nap for awhile. Ate dinner. Took another nap and then went to watch the Superbowl at my friend's house.
Two Americans and a Brit watching the superbowl until 3 am. Good times.
Today I'm feeling okay, on some meds which is probably keeping me going, but hey I'd rather be up and about then laying in bed all day...wait....would I? heh.
Also another turn of events...last night it started snowing. It's been snowing on and off all day today as well. Basically it is the most snow that England has seen in like 20 years. It's funny because they don't know what to do with it and they all panic for like 3 inches. I have a class today too...at 4. I must walk through the snow....

Another and probably much busier Semester has begun.

2009-01-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

Well, today I had my first course. It was just an introduction to the course, and we just went through the syllabus, but still it signified to me the start of this new semester. It is going to be a very busy semester. I will have two regular classes and two smaller classes along with an optional lecture that I attend on Monday evenings. Last semester I had one regular class and two smaller classes. Smaller as in the credits and amount of work. Also, one of my classes from last semester continues on into this one with a presentation that must be done by sometime in March. One of my classes is called Siege, Pillage, and Plunder: Warfare in Medieval Europe. This seminar I feel will be good, I mean, look at the name. My other regular class is called War and Society in the Ancient World. But really it is specifically the Roman World. It rotates every year between Rome and Greece. I almost wish it was Greece, just because I have never had a Greek History class, and would enjoy it a lot. Buuuut Rome is where its at, it was my first and is always one of my favorites.
I already have reading for my regular classes that is due for next week. I am also going to try and get a head start on the papers this semester since I will have an extra one to do, and also a lot more work. So I don't want to panic at the end trying to get everything done. I'll go with the one I am fairly confident in first, get that done and move on down the list. The presentation for my War & Society class must compare two societies and have some aspect of warfare in them. I was contemplating comparing the European Chivalry and Japanese Bushido, but for the Presentation and thus the paper for this class I may have to make it more specific. If so, then it will be the Significance of the Sword between the two. With many references of course to Chivalry and Bushido respectively. I may try and just roll some things into one. I may write my Medieval paper on the importance of the sword in Europe. That way I can combine my research and not have such a hard time, that and I think the topic is really interesting and can do more research for it.

Add on top of this Archery three times a week and pretty much a competition every weekend for the next two months. So I will be pretty active which I hope will give me the necessary motivation to get all of my work done and not procrastinate which I am world champion for doing. My new bow is superb. It is heavier than the club bow I was using, which was to be expected, but the handle is thinner. Which leads me to not grip it as much, which is a good thing because otherwise I hold the bow too tightly and it messes up my release. I just have to find my anchor point now and do it every time. I'm shooting decently, and today we'll see what my score will be with my new bow. I'm still getting used to it so it should be higher from today onwards. I'm always working on fixing my stance and my release. So hopefully it will work out.

My Two friends, Chris and Alex, from the States returned home this past weekend. It's strange that they arn't here anymore. No more Chicken Joes for lunch unless I go by myself, which I really don't want to do. No more Frankie and Bennies New York Italian food in the city centre. No more putsing around Beeston or just hanging out eating Take out. Usually I try and divide my time between two groups of people at least. At RWU it was between three, possibly even 4 groups of people sometimes. Right now though, there is one group, and that is Archery. I love hanging out with them, sometimes too much? And it's hard because they make me want to stay next year even though I know that possibility is pretty much out of reality. There is also a lot of drama in the group as there is in many groups. I don't think any group of people can say they don't have their fair share of drama. Right now the drama is my friend Joe had for a couple weeks broken contact almost altogether with pretty much everyone in the group. This happened about two days after I got back. Lately he has been talking to everyone again and making his comments that he always made; just not to me. Keep in mind I did say a few comments at his expense about certain things I will not mention here, but mind you he does the same to me and to everyone else. Some people can dish it out, but can't take it. That has been said of me sometimes and it usually is true but I've kind of become used to jokes made on my expense anyways and can take it pretty well. But anyways I digress. Archery has started again so he has been talking to everyone again, except me. Everyone knows and everyone is interested in the gossip and in the reason. The problem is I don't really know the reason it's been taken so far. If it was the original comment, then that is a pretty sad reason. He was pretty much my best friend here and now he doesn't speak to me. It must be a good reason, I mean (of course because stupid Facebook rules everyones lives) he even went as far to unfriend me. Which usually means he has no intention of resuming our friendship. Which is very unfortunate. It also splits the group a bit because we all hung out together. It makes it awkward for everyone to hang out, but he has remedied some of this by not coming out. And if he continues to do so I will be very grateful, because as of now I just don't want to deal with it and have ceased to really care.

Anyways, I'm going to concentrate on my shooting and hopefully will get better. Also on my work. I have yet to get my essays back but when I do I'll let everyone know how I did, for better or for worse. Hopefully for the better... Have not heard from any schools yet either, but more than likely my parents will know before me, which is quite unnerving. I don't like other people, even my parents to know those things before me. I guess it's just how I want it to come off. So I can hide my initial reaction and then react later on to what people say.

Anyways, I must have some lunch and then head off to archery. Interesting day it may turn out to be yet.
Also, Happy Birthday to my mum. :)

Hm?

2009-01-25T05:21:00.000-08:00

To answer any questions. No I did not find anything about any schools except that eventually Brown will contact me via post. Really helpful as it doesn't say when.

I bought my bow. :)
It's black and shiny and cost way to much money.
But it's really nice to shoot.

Brown. (same as Adrianne's)

2009-01-23T18:15:00.000-08:00

Thank you for applying for admission to Brown University Graduate School. We are reviewing applications and will soon prepare decision letters. Offers of admission will be sent via postal mail. Responses to offers of admission must be postmarked no later than April 15, 2009.

If you applied to multiple programs, you will receive a decision for each program. Please note that you can only matriculate into one program. If you accept an offer, any and all remaining Brown Graduate School offers are withdrawn.

Thank you for your interest in the Brown University Graduate School.

With best wishes,
Dean Sheila Bonde and the Admissions Staff
Graduate School
Brown University

Ok ok ok

2009-01-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have not yet updated since I have been back...thank you Jena... I figured there would be more of an outcry...maybe I just won't update as much :P mwahaha...

Anyways, Let's see. I will just mention a bit of home then move on.
The last few days were fairly relaxed. I didn't do too much. It was very good to be home and rejuvenate myself. Seeing everyone was good, especially family. I did not get to see everyone I had wanted to see while I was home, but the ones I did see I was very happy for. It was hard to leave again because I sort of know that unless I don't get into Grad school, or don't do anything, I most likely won't be 'living' at home from now on. That was hard I think for everyone to grasp, including myself, and won't be fully felt until the time actually comes. I have no idea what will come of my applications until maybe March(ish). As Adrianne is, I am also anxious about seeing if there are any interviews coming our way. I only know that out of mine, Brown does interviews definitely, if they are interested. As for the rest, one can only guess. We'll see. I highly doubt they will fly me back to speak with me. I am expecting, if anything, an e-mail asking for a skype name or something similar so that they can speak with me over the internet. Which is much more likely now-a-days than spending a large amount of money to fly me back. We'll see. It would just be a bit more relaxing to know where I will be spending a very large amount of time for the next five or six years.

Anywho, my Flight back was just short of ridiculous. My flight from Bradley Field to Philadelphia was basically cancelled apparently. They rescheduled the flight for two hours later, but as they were not sure when the plane was getting in, I had to wait anyways. So I sat with my parents and my grandmother for a bit at the airport before going through security. I don't think anyone really knew what the hell was going on there. The customer service people were moving from booth to booth typing away and looking at the screens, then switching and doing the same. My flight was not on the screen so I had to ask its whereabouts when it actually landed. Five minutes later the woman gave me a straight answer and then came the waiting.
Finally the plane showed up, but yet we had to wait longer to board until control gave the okay to take off for Philadelphia. So...more waiting. The flight was alright. Uneventful. It was pouring in Philadelphia...but I was thankful, it could have been much worse. I had about 3 hours to wait in Philly so I grabbed some food and...more waiting. My flight from Philadelphia to London was alright. I think I slept maybe an hour or two. I had also left the east coast only a few hours before the blizzard swept through. That's two lucky shots I got in. In and out. No mess. There was a bit of turbulence at first, getting through the clouds and all. Other than that it was a pretty smooth ride. Landing in London was it's usual annoyance. Since I had checked in my bag...(70 lbs of food and drink for my British friends) I had to wait for it. It took almost a half hour for our bags to actually show up on the conveyor belt. Then I had to walk over to the Tube with my ridiculously heavy bag. Got on the Tube and waited again. To change cars and then to walk to the bus station... That's fine, but it's the center of London and a pain in the arse. There was a man on the Tube who looked pretty hardcore. Looked the part of, "if anyone messes with me I can kill them with the shiv I have in my sock..." Of course, while studying him, in his black shoes, black pants, rolled up long sleeve shirt, jean vest, and a pony tail with a cap just covering the top of his ears. I look down to where the inevitable shiv would be...in his sock... Which was quite interesting as I look again at this intimidating man...wearing bright pink socks... Hmmm..

Luckily I didn't have too long to wait once I got to the bus station, but even by now I was feeling the amount of traveling weighing on both my back and my eyes. I wanted to sleep. Got on the bus...The bus driver was quite scary, though in a different way than the man on the Tube. This guy talked way too much and was overly cheerful for a National Express Bus Driver. Made small talk with everyone and then tried a couple jokes on the bus over the intercom. ...shut up man... I was so tired and antsy at this point I wish I had that guys imaginary shiv, so I could shank the bus driver and take over the driving and drive 90 straight back to my room. Anyways.. of course me feeling this way, the Motorway (M1) or Highway as we would call it was back up from an accident or incident as they call it. BAM 1 hour delay. Jesus...Mary and Joseph... just. want. to. get. back. already. On the breaking point of losing it, we finally after an arduous journey, pull into the bus station in Nottingham...oh wait? Whats that? Oh another bus ride to the University...ARGH. Luckily that is the easiest part. Finally got back. But I didn't collapse on my bed. I went to Luigi's (take out) with my friend Joe and got a kebab and then proceeded to the pub. Ahh the pub. The wonderful invention known as the Public House. Now referenced as the Pub or puuube.
I took that weekend to recover from the traveling, as it took me a few days to not go to sleep at 4 am and wake up at one or two in the afternoon. Then (we're up to last week now) I worked on my essay for most of the week. Thursday I gave up writing, as I had run out of things to say, and edited it. Handed it in on Friday and I was free. I'm done until the 28th where I have one class, and then the others start the week after. So right now I am just relaxing as much as I can before I get busy with work, going for walks now and then. My friends from the States, Chris and Alex leave on Saturday. It will be wierd when they leave. I also sort of pissed my friend Joe off, so he has been pretty much ignoring me for the past week 1/2. Everyone is studying for their exams, so not too many people available to hang around with at the moment, but sunday Archery will start up again and the good times will hopefully once again commence. Don't have a bow yet, as my friend Stacey's car bit the dust. Hopefully I will be able to get one this weekend before shooting. Rawr!
Anyways, that's it for now, I hope that tides you all over for a few days when I get around to writing another.
Huzzah! 3 Months before parents visit? 5 until Sara, Colin, and hopefully Jena and Ricky visit, and 9 until I am back.

Edit: Also I am apparently supposed to hear from Brown possibly by the end of the month... it says 4 to 8 weeks from due date... which was Dec 1st. Which means they sent me a letter saying piss off, which my parents have not yet told me about, or they will send an email to me on the very last day of January saying piss off or why hello.

Still Home

2009-01-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

Well, It's January 1st 2009. No longer 2008, Thank god. A very eventful year this year, good and bad. New Years Eve went well, Jena and Ricky came down from New Hampshire and on their way to PA. It's always fun when they come around, and Colin came over as well. We played a bunch of games, mostly Risk: Godwars. Family came over for new years, which is always an event in itself.
Before I started looking at this, I actually think I had something to write, now I just can't remember or maybe it just doesn't matter as much. Oh well. heh. I'm leaving in 6 days. Dunno how I feel about that.

White Christmas.

2008-12-22T20:23:00.001-08:00

Well, it's not quite Christmas yet, but it looks like it will be a white christmas. The first I think in at least 5 years, possibly more. That is something always nice to come home to. I went for a walk while it was snowing the other day. I do say that I quite enjoy it. It didn't feel too cold. Someone told me once that cold is a state of mind, just like other feelings. I guess if you don't think about the cold, it's not cold. Even with the snow whipping you in the face and making your chin go numb. It made me smile, I think I smiled at least, I couldn't tell my face was frozen...the inside was smiling at least. heh.
I went to Halls today. I won't be buying my bow there. 1) They don't have them in stock anyways, and 2) Too expensive, much more than they said to me through e-mail. It will be cheaper to buy it in England...which makes absolutely no sense.
My Samurai essay is finished and handed in, done before I even left for home. Surprisingly, I wrote 1/4 of my 'World-Systems' essay on the plane. A feat I had not anticipated on accomplishing.
The travel day was very long. I was up at about 1 am eastern time and I went to sleep about 11 pm. I slept about an hour or so on the first plane ride. Our flight was delayed in London, about an hour and 10 minutes on the tarmac. 'The British are keeping us here.' is what the Pilot said... such a stereotypical American thought. And half the plane were people from England. I ended up sitting next to an 18 year old named Josh from Bristol (UK). He was going to his mother's in Florida. It was nice to actually talk to someone on a plane for once, rather than have a baby or some really big guy sit next to me and snore. I felt bad though, we were both getting transfer flights in Philadelphia. His was at 615 and mine was at 625. Since we were more than an hour late taking off, we were also an hour late landing. Meaning we had almost no time to get our next flight. On the plane, when we landed, they made an announcement saying that anyone with a flight before 620 to see the desk to get a new boarding pass. (Aka come to find out later it meant they would all miss their flights.) I asked, mine was at 625...oh you're fine...they said. So I ran. I didn't have any check in luggage so that made it much easier. I get to my gate...gate change...shit...find new gate... okay I made it in time...phew.... wait? what? 45 minute delay. Shit. More waiting, ran for nothing. The plane to Bradley Field wasn't too long, just over an hour. But at that point I was so sick of waiting / being on a plane, I just wanted to shower and go to bed. We landed and I went down to call the parents to pick me up...hmmm....Bradley Airport has ripped out all of their pay phones... WTF? Anyways, I was lucky and a guy that had a taxi and was standing next to the taxi station let me use his cell phone. Nice guy. Thanks.
And I'm home. Thank god, I was definitely sick of traveling at that point. Just about 2 hours in delays and a missed flight scare. Poor Josh goin to Florida though. He had to stay at a Quality Inn and take a cold shower and get a flight in the morning. That's rough.
I was very lucky I came home on Thursday, a day after, or a day before, there would have been delays where I would not have been able to get home probably until Saturday or Sunday.
Now I shall enjoy my time at home. I'm sure I'll post again soon.
Ciao ciao.

Something a bit different maybe?

2008-12-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to update, as nothing has happened in the past 3 days. Really, pretty much nothing. When I say nothing, usually it entails hanging out with archery people or the guys from the States, or I may actually mean 'nothing.'

I will be home in less than a week now. I am quite happy to be going home. See all my family and friends, pets and my nice big bed. (I really dislike sleeping in a twin sometimes.) I've come to realize that life here really isn't much different than if I went to a school back in the States. Obviously there are numerous differences, aka: somethings named differently, the way the schools are run, and the people are in general different as well. It isn't as different as the continent of Europe is, obviously because there is not as much of a language barrier, but it is still technically Europe.

I have always been curious to see how people react to being abroad. Whether it be long term or short, some people just don't have it in them to be so far from home in something that is so incredibly different. It is always nice to go home, but I have found so far that I am not homesick. I know my home is there waiting for me when I return. Some people have a really hard time trying to live in a different country. Sometimes it is nice just to visit, but then again some people do not end up liking even that. I have found that I enjoy just about everything about being abroad. Italy and England being long term stays thus far, I have quite enjoyed. They are also very different. The couple trips over here that I have, I also enjoyed.

I think I could live over on this side of the pond, I just don't like being so far from family. I enjoy my friends at home as well, but we would stay in touch anyways, and there are new friends to be made no matter where I go. It is more than likely I would not see the 'old crews' as much anyways once everyone finds out what they are doing. This is for both Windsor people and for Roger Williams. My little social circle that I have currently is very comfortable and I enjoy their company greatly, and without them I would sit and stir in my room for a very long time. Which I was prepared to handle should it have happened.

I am yet again coming to a crossroads in my life where I must decide / have decided for me what I will be doing in the future. There are doctorates to be had, either in the states, or here in Nottingham, or there is no doctorate and there is teaching, or there is the work force. Most of this will be decided within the next few months, so I try not to think about it too much now. It is hard though, people here are talking about where they will be living next year and making plans. I am applying here, but I do not know if I can get funding and I will not know for some time, so I can not join in on these plans. More than likely I will be out of luck should I find myself staying.

I also try not to think about money.
Recently I have had some luck since the pound is now under 1.50 whereas when I first got here it was 2:1 with the dollar. I am so sick of everyone talking about money all the time. It is like it's their life force or something, their world revolves around it, storing it, spending it, how much here, how much there. Then there are complaints of debt. I have had a few conversations with people here on this matter. Loans work so much better here and in other European countries and Australia. They don't have to take a huge amount of money that they will never ever be able to pay back. They start talking debts, and I just want to yell at the top of my lungs that they should not even begin to start complaining to me about loans. Go complain to the pigeons outside trying to get crumbs off the ground in Beeston, not me.

I slowly begin to understand myself a little more every week since I have been here. I'm lazy and have no self-discipline whatsoever when it comes to changing things about myself. I get bursts of responsibility urges, where I do a lot of work, clean and such. I sleep too late, I really cannot write research papers very fast, but I am awesome at researching. I have no idea who I am or what I really want to do. My mind thinks about twenty different things at the same time and most of the time I can barely clear my mind long enough to think about one thing, just one thing. I'm terrible with relationships myself, but give awesome advice. I think about things way too long and by the time I gather the courage to say something the topic has moved on to something else. I always want to do the right thing. I usually try to be as polite as possible. And I wish that I could just live in a time where money wasn't everything, where computers didn't exist, and things were a bit more simple.

Anyways. I shaved my beard and my moustache. My face is cold and I want them back.
I'm tired. This I am thinking will be my last post until I get home. Maybe some pictures or something later on. Who knows.
Cheers.

Essay #1

2008-12-09T16:46:00.001-08:00

I finished my Samurai essay. Just about 4000 words. I'm allowed to be about 100 words off or so.
No Archery this week. Makes the week feel a lot longer than it is. Archery kinda holds its all together, mostly because it's three days a week and I find it makes me happy and not annoyed if I am going into it, or just having a rough day.
I hope I don't have a rough week. I don't have archery.

The Death of Me.

2008-12-06T06:57:00.001-08:00

Is this essay.
I don't know what it is about it that makes it so hard to finish.
I'm half-way through it. I can finish it within the next day or two.
Maybe that's why, because I know I have time to finish it.
I can't tell if I am taking it way to seriously or if I'm not taking it serious enough.
It's a hard egg to crack. I always seem to find something else I want/need to do. I have almost two weeks to finish this paper, but I have another one to do after it. Bad times. I know I'm complaining about only two papers when I know full well I would have a lot more writing to do in previous years. This term has taken a lot of the writer out of me. There are no short papers to write, to be graded, to let you know how the professor wants you to write. There is nothing between this one paper and your final grade. Nothing. That scares the shit out of me. Instead of sitting diligently writing, editing, re-writing, etc. I completely avoid it altogether.
I wrote a really good thesis paper last semester, but that was what the class was all about. It was only writing the paper. He would look at it and help as well. I don't have that contact here.
In the summer, I'll have to write a 65 page paper or about 22 to 25000 words. In my handbook it says I will only get about 5 hours of contact time with my supervisor...So from about March/April or before when we figure out our topics to August/September when we hand them in. 5 hours. That just boggles my mind.
Today, I've organized the notes and writing that I have so far. I realized that I need to go to the library to finish it. Just go, with all my notes and all the books that I need. No distractions of doing laundry, the dishes, going online, going to the store. Just the paper. Only the paper. Tomorrow it will be done.

I had my presentation for the same class on Tuesday. It was work 10% (my essay is 90%.)
I was left with the last 10 minutes of classtime, one of the professors had to leave halfway to teach another class, a student had to leave to get to another seminar on time and I was forced to cut all of my slides short and to the point, almost to one sentence to the point. I had to go back to the professors office with the two remaining students so that they could ask me a couple questions, which is supposed to be at the end of the presentation. Awesome. I e-mailed them what they thought, and how they were going to grade me on this as it was obvious I had no time whatsoever to give them the excellent presentation that I had created.
No response...

Awesome.

The last archery session was on Wednesday. No more archery until after break. I'll be practicing at home however. The christmas dinner was also later that evening. It was a good time. Food was okay, but the company was better. We had about 25 people or so there.
Not too much going on today though. As I said, organizing and collecting my thoughts. I was going to try to do work again, but I realized that I just need to spend the day in it, and if I start thinking I am going to do something else, then I just can't focus. Tomorrow will be that day.
And then I will spend two days editing. Then on to the next essay. Another 4000 words and I haven't the foggiest idea of what it is going to be on.

Off to the grocery store...battle royale on a saturday. I may come back with a black eye.

I'm ready to sit on my couch at home now for a bit.

A few more pictures

2008-12-02T16:42:00.000-08:00

Yet another Archery weekend.

2008-12-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening: The Shins
Watching: Top Chef! Wooo!

Well, I apologize that seems to have become a weekly posting, rather than a daily posting. I guess it just really comes to how much time during the day that I need to spend writing it all down and what I am doing that day. Thus far it seems to be Monday's where I am writing these. I think a lot of it is the transition from weekend to weekday.
Anyways, this past week has been mostly full of working and archery and cleaning.
I spend a lot of time reading and doing research for my Samurai essay (90% of my grade). I have a presentation (10% of my grade) due tomorrow that I spent all of today working on.

Thursday I had class...out of 5 people...2 showed up (including me). I was stuck with the kid who talks like he knows everything...oy... It ended up not being too bad, I got some things sorted for my essay which I am still struggling to get together. I think this weekend and working on this presentation helped me organize the ideas in my head much better and this week I should be finishing it.
I didn't go to Italian class...they were doing masculine and feminine...even if I hadn't done Italian before, it just seemed like a waste of two hours for me, as the class moves very slowly.
Later on I went to my friends house. A couple of us dyed our hair for the archery competition we had on Sunday. I didn't dye my whole head, so don't freak out! It isn't very bright either, and once it fades it will just look like I have red highlights in my hair.

Friday I had another class during the afternoon and went to Archery later that night. I like going to Archery three times a week. Unfortunately this coming Wednesday will be our last shooting until after Christmas. Boo. It's a fun shoot and then later on instead of the pub we have our christmas social. Should be fun. More Italian food!

Saturday I really didn't do anything, until later on in the day. I played Snooker with a few people from Archery before we had to set up for the competition. Snooker is played on a giant pool table with the same amount of red balls as a normal pool game, then 5 other differently coloured balls on the table. Scoring is ridiculously confusing...needless to say, I lost. But it was fun and I plan on doing it again soon.

Sunday was the competition, we shot in the morning, started at about 10. Shot until about 12-1230 or so. I did about 20 points less than I have been doing and wanted to do... but also 80 points higher than my last competition score. Aiming does wonders... Went to the pub afterwards with all of the other teams. It was a good time and we played a lot of pool.
Then we went to Adds and Stacey's house to watch Top Gear. This is the house that I always go to on Sunday nights and for most of things as well. Top Gear is a car show they have on BBC where they compare a bunch of really expensive cars, not expensive cars, and random things like boats, buses, and lorries.

Today I have been working on my presentation as I had said before. Tonight I went with Chris and Alex to the same New York Italian place we always go to for Chris' birthday. Good food. I get the same thing every time. Anyone who comes to visit me will be going there at least once. It's not British food, but too bad. It's good. :D

Deja Vu

2008-11-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

So I went to Dublin this past weekend. I had a lot of fun, but I got this feeling like I had been there before....oh wait...because I had, about 2 months before. Did you do anything different? Someone might ask? No. It was almost literally the same trip except that I slept in a shit hostel with a bunch of Frenchies who snored making it almost impossible to sleep.

Okay, so Friday we got to the airport. We went into Nottingham to get the bus, but we decided if we took the bus we would miss the plane. So we grabbed a taxi...40 quid and 40 minutes later we finally got there. It went smoothly, but I got my bag searched of course. They took everything out, were finally satisfied and left me there to put everything back in. We sat and got some dinner; I got a breakfast bap (basically egg, bacon and sausage on a bun.) and they waited and got stir fry. Before they got half way done eating their food we hear "Finally boarding call for ..." Then we go running.

Got to Dublin. We went to check in at the hostel and walked around a bit. We eventually ended up at a pub where this guy was playing his guitar with a synthesizer backing him up. He was playing good tunes and we sang along.
Saturday, we went and did the bus tour. We stopped at the ChristChurch Cathedral. Which was okay, nothing too special. After, we went to the Guinness factory. Which was pretty much a big waste of time, because the three of them don't even like Guinness. We got to the top where you get a free Guinness at the end of the tour and there were a ton of people. Very hard to move around. So they decided they didn't want any... Gah. That's okay, there was not a lack of Guinness on my part this weekend.
We went and got some lunch, then we all split up. I walked around a bit. I was going to go see the Book of Kels. I got there. 10 Euro to get in and see two pages. Whatever page they had opened it to that day. I wasn't feeling particularly rich that day. So I wandered around a bit.
We went and got dinner....McDonalds... and then went back to the pub from the night before. Many more Guinnesses later, we went back to the hostel. To sleep...for a little while at least.
Some hours later, maybe 2? 2 1/2? Frenchies get back from whereever in god's name they were. Wake everyone up. That's fine. Try to go back to sleep.... few minutes later.... the snoring of the devil himself echoes through the room. Chris and Alex are on the other side of the room. This snoring had also occurred the night before but not as badly. So we just decide to make noises across the room at eachother. Fake fart noises, burps, real fart noises, heavy sighs, at one point I turned my iPod all the way up and serenaded everyone with "Every little thing she does is Magic"
The three of us decided just to get up and go for a walk. We walked around Dublin for quite a while. Was a nice walk. We saw some zombies and a ghost ship. Then headed back to the hostel to get a few hours of sleep.
Woke up. Guess which day trip we went on? Yeah? The same one me and my father went on... Guess what? Same driver. Unfortunately the weather was crap. The first stop we did, the wind was whipping and it was biting cold. Much different from the same stop in August.
We got to Glendaloch(?) and did the little tour thing (same). It was so cold though and so rainy, that we ended up just going into the hotel and sat and got some food. Was good food though. We didn't get to walk around at all as the food took up the entire time.
After we went to the weaving place. And just sat there for like 2 hours. It was a good time though.
We all fell asleep on the bus on the way back to Dublin. Then we got back and took a bus to the airport. Which come to find out our plane was really leaving an hour later than we were told...by Danielle, the one who planned everything. But watever, that was fine.
Finally got back to campus. Went to my room and passed out.
That was my trip this weekend. Now back to trying to get my paper done, day in and day out.

S'gonna be a tough week.

2008-11-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I keep finding myself posting smaller and smaller posts on here. It is mostly because, as I said previously, that there is a lot of routine each week. Classes for the most part are the same time each week, archery is the same time each week, and therefore my "free" time and work time are the same each week.

This week I only have one class, on friday afternoon, right before I depart to Dublin for the weekend. So this week will consist of me trying to do as much of my first paper as I possibly can. I think I will spend a day or two more researching and then I will start writing. It is a 10 page paper. I am going to try to break it up into smaller sections to make it go more quickly. I think it hasn't really hit me yet that my whole grade is basically this paper. Then when I get back from Dublin on Sunday I will either have to finish the paper, or start research on the next one. I hope by then I will have finished my Samurai one.

I only have one month left before I fly home for Christmas for a couple weeks. I do not want to work on the second paper while I am home. When I get back I will have about a week before it is due, but I am hoping that I will have it done pre-flight. If not, I will work on it on the plane, as I have a ridiculous amount of travel time.

Big surprise, it is raining again. Yesterday was actually a nice day for once and I was hoping for more than a brief glimpse of the sun. I guess the rain is a good thing since it means I have to stay inside and do work...the problem being it also makes me feel tired and not want to do anything at all. Grufff.

Today I got two more parts of my application out of the way: my transcript request and my GRE scores sent. Now all I await is my last reference before I can send the applications out... Some are due quite soon: the 1st of December.. so I am getting anxious to send them as soon as I can. I am worried the recommendations will not get there in time. I also have to worry that something will go awry with my transcript requests. I have to find out how to get the transcripts from here as well to send...crap...

Woot!

2008-11-12T16:27:00.000-08:00

4-2-8! :D Working my way up.

Applications are almost complete. Just looking to get my last reference to email me back, *Cough* Tony *Cough*.

Kinda tired now, I thought I'd just post that little snippit.

I'm looking forward to going home for a little bit :)
I am having fun, but home is home.

Some more archery.

2008-11-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I shot reaaaallly poorly. Not good, I shot a 308. Which out of 600 is terrible. I was hoping for at least a 350 if not better. No good. It was a fun day down in Warwick though. The ride down and back in the minibus was interesting to say the least. We went to the pub after shooting and sat around with the other teams and then went and ate dinner with the other teams. Ended up having an argument with some of my teammates about which Star Trek was better. She had insisted it was Voyager. I told her to go to hell and to wash out her potty mouth. That is inexcusable.
Anyways. Today I had practice this morning as well. I shot so much better today. I've been continually fixing things. I am using a new and better finger tab now and I shot quite a lot better. On Wednesday I'll shoot a portsmouth and see how I am doing.
I have some pictures, though they are not my own. My camera battery is dead at the moment. So I have a couple other pictures to hold everyone over.
The top picture is the shooting line at Warwick. If you click on the pictures they will open up in another window/tab. I am in there towards the top middle or so.
The second picture is just at the Pub. Our Pub is The White Hart. It's actually a really nice pub. We can pretty much do what we want there since we give them a lot of business. We get really cheap pool now. Hopefully the drinks will get cheaper eventually as well.
The third picture is me after playing frisbee after a night at the pub. Out in the field near where I live. Did I mention it was really muddy? Yeah, well it was. That was while we were debating leaving or not. I think I look pretty good, heh.

Archery

2008-11-07T16:14:00.000-08:00

So since I didn't suck on Wednesday at shooting, I was put on as back up for the competition tomorrow at Warwick. Apparently there has been some stuff going on, and one of them is no longer shooting, so I am. I'm a bit nervous, especially tonight I was not quite on par with what I was shooting. I'm hoping tomorrow will go a bit better. I'm nervous I'm going to botch it all up. Gotta take a lot of deep breaths.
As Sam said (the club president), just have fun as the rest of the day will also be a lot of fun.
So tomorrow we leave at 11:30. We are shooting at 1:30. We shoot a portsmouth which is 5 dozen arrows. 3 shot at a time. 60 shots. Up to 600 points. If I shoot anything over 350 I will be happy.
There is also shooting on Sunday. woot. So much shooting. Makes me happy. I like to shoot. So my father better be ready to shoot more when I am at home. We are going a bunch of times over the break.
It's nice though, I don't think I have ever fit in so well with a group of people. Sometimes I have to remember that I am probably only going to be here for a year. Which is hard, because they have become good friends in such a short time.

Tomorrow will be fun. There will be though, much drama behind me shooting tomorrow. Hopefully I won't have to deal with too much of it.

I'm looking forward to going home. I miss home, but I'm not homesick. I think I have gotten past the point of "homesickness." It's usually the little things that I miss. 4 Months was my limit before, it will be 4 months again before I go home. When I come back though, it will be much longer.

Oh yea, I don't have exams in January, and spring seminars don't start until February. So apparently I have another 3 weeks off? :D heh.

I know I haven't called everyone nearly enough, but I will be doing that more soon, I have to refill the money on my skype so I can.

Also, hopefully I will be posting some more pictures. The sort of everyday-ish stuff I haven't really taken pictures of. I'm going to try and carry my camera around more, I'm just worried it's going to get broken/stolen.

They should build more pubs at home. More Pubs!

Sorry sorry

2008-11-05T05:13:00.001-08:00

Sorry. Don't have much to update on. Still plugging along on all my work and applications. Have to get the applications done by next week though. I've been sick the past couple days so I've been trying to take it easy. Haven't gotten too much work done because of it, so next week will be nose to the grindstone.
But I'm feeling a bit better today, still have a little cough and gotta blow my nose every now and again, but I have to go to Archery today so gotta make sure I'm up to par. Hopefully today I will not suck horribly.

Edit: I didn't suck horribly. Huzzah. 357.

The rain is here.

2008-11-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

It's been raining for about the past 3 days now. Not necessarily hard, but constant. This evening it seems to have subsided for a bit. Apparently it pretty much never snows here either. So it will just be cold and rainy if anything at all.

Friday night I saw Quantum of Solace. I won't give anything away but there is a lot more action to it and was a little confusing in the middle. It was a good continuation off of the first one as far as where the story went though. So it was good, but I didn't think it to be the greatest movie ever.

Saturday I developed my little head cold I am incubating. Head is all stuffy and now my nose is running. I spent most of the day in bed watching The Office. Then I went and played Tennis with Chris and Alex. Not a smart move you may say, but I actually felt much better after that.

Today my alarm clock decided it didn't want to work so I was late to Archery, thus causing me not to get a chance to shoot. Boo. Tonight I'm going over to an archery mate's flat to watch Top Gear with a bunch of em.

I'm staving off getting sicker, but we'll see how it goes when I have to do work tomorrow and I'm still feeling sick.

Also, it is now November. Ahh. My personal statement is just about finished, then I have to e-mail some professors about recommendations, fax the school to get my transcripts sent, and I should be all set. Woot.

Another Day.

2008-10-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

Hey, It's Thursday! Guess What's New! Nothing! ahaha. yeah. Not really much new going on.
Besides tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to see James Bond: Quantum of Solace. Oh yea, by the way, it comes out 2 weeks earlier here than at home. :D

This weekend, possibly tonight even, if I feel up to it, I need to make a CV(resume type thing) and also finish up my personal statement for Universities at homez. I may try and apply to one or two schools here, but those are not due until after the new year so I can relax a bit on those, and since I am an international student the date is even later.

We're getting to shoot a bit more at archery, which is good, they were right saying that there would be less and less people each time. Unfortunately, it is making me realize how much I suck at shooting. Most of it I think right now is I am gripping the bow too hard and so when I release I tighten my grip on the bow causing it to not fly right and thus not hitting where I was aiming. But I have been doing terribly to the point of very much frustration. After next week I'll be able to shoot on Fridays as well which will be nice to have the extra practice.

I'm trying this new thing where I don't want to suck at everything. So I am trying to pick a few things to focus my attention on rather than spread myself out. I want to move away from that Jack of all trades, Master of None, sort of deal. I've never really ever stuck to one hobby. Ah well.

This week was better though as far as work was concerned. I spent a significant more time reading as well as being in the library. Next week I hope to expand that further, especially since I will be working much more on my papers, that I will have the topics for. I figure I am going to do at least three weeks of research for these papers, that will take me to about the third/last week of November. That will then give me about 2 - 3 weeks to write my paper for Samurai and about 5 weeks to write my Theory & Evidence paper, which is due in January but I am not working on it over the break. I think that will work out.

I will be getting my applications finished up and sent out hopefully within 2 weeks: Penn State, Temple are definite.

Brr. Do I want Groceries?

2008-10-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

So it is getting colder by the day. It is mostly a constant chill in the air at this point, but the cold at night is almost the same by day, whereas back home it seems to be all over the place: 50s/60s during the day and 20s/30s at night. Here, it's just plain cold with a steady decrease in temperature. It also always rains at least a little bit everyday, but so far it really doesn't rain that much.

I haven't updated in a couple days, mainly because I haven't been in my room that much.
Most of my free time that includes hanging out with people is mostly spent at the pub. Friday night I was at the pub, Saturday I was at the pub, and sunday afternoon I was at the pub. Not with all the same people everyday so there is some variance. It will be weird once my friends: Chris and Alex; leave to go home in January. They are the two guys from the states that I hang out with a lot. After they leave I won't have too many people to hang out with from the States.
Apparently Alex has an Uncle who is staying in Edinburgh for business reasons. I have been invited to go up with him and Chris for the weekend after Thanksgiving: The 30th of November. The week before that we are going to Dublin, the three of us and Danielle, who is from Long Island. And no. heh.
Now is the time where I start to get much busier. I will have most likely decided on my topics for my two essays for the semester and research will commence on those post haste. That and I am doing a number of optional modules from the graduate school to help me along the researcher's path.
Tomorrow I am going to an information session for languages. To see if I can persuade them to allow me to take one of the language classes. I haven't decided yet on what language..I was going to do Japanese, but I am not sure and may take French in place of it. I am also going to see if I can do the Italian one as well.
If I do those, once they are started then I will have much more work to do and much less free time as I will have to spend more time studying and reading. Which will be good.

I am still working on the statements for the grad school applications. I e-mailed Meriwether about grad school and he said that if I intended to do grad school that I should not take a year off because once I do it will be harder to get back into it. I am still trying to formulate the focus I am going to have when I go.

Now I have to get the will to go get some groceries, since the only thing I have is Reeses Puffs Cereal and Macaroni and Cheese. I got these in the middle of the week in my box of goodies :)
But those are the only things I have left... So I must make the trip.. ack.

New List.

2008-10-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

So I'm dwindling it down to three. Two are definite places I will be applying and the Brown is still up in the air.
1) Temple University
2) Penn State
3) Brown University (maybe)

Temple I am pretty sure is my top choice, because they actually have a program that I am interested in specifically and it is one of their major programs in their history department.

Penn State: I e-mailed one of the professors and she had said what I wanted to study there I would be able to do, as long as it was not all military tactics and organization and such.

Brown: Well, it's Brown and R.I. It would look really good. heh.

Any of these places I would be able to get home fairly easily. Yes Pennsylvania is quite a drive but I like driving, and it wouldn't be that long.

Rawrgh!

2008-10-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Yes. Rawrgh!
Do you ever have those days, well, weeks, months, years, etc. Where you are thinking this one thing, and then you have a chat with some people about something completely unrelated and it changes your mind on that one thing? That happened to me today.
I actually did get some sleep, thanks dad for the advice, and I had a group meeting this morning.
The meeting was about the validity of a biography. We have to tomorrow give a little talk on what these different historians thought/think about biography. Most of them said it was rubbish, but this is besides the point.
The discussions I have with people over topics of history is fun for me. Which made me confused today when I realized that. I also think I have come up with a plan of sorts, but it still needs to be worked out/ work out. heh.

So I am going to apply to two, maybe three schools for military history. If I don't get in, then I will take the year off and try the "plan" from a different angle.
This plan encourages me more than before to get into Temple. I just feel like I really want to go there for some reason, I have no idea why, but I feel like it would be a good fit and Philadelphia I hear is supposed to be really nice. I do need to pick an area of focus though, which will take quite a bit of thinking in itself.

Watch, tomorrow, I will have changed my mind again. heh. No I think this time I am fairly certain. I realized that I can get a PhD and not teach if I find that I don't want to. That and with a PhD moving into something else, you still make more money than if you had a masters.

Yippee Kiyay Melon Farmers! I should buy that movie eventually.. XD

Happy? Birthday to me

2008-10-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well, for me, my birthday is over, for people at home I still have about another two hours or so.
My birthday was just another day. I went to class, I took a nap, I went to the pub for dinner. I got my nice package from home though. Some clothess to wear, some socks, and some swiss rolls. yumm and my dvds.. yesssss.

Anyways, I watched a movie tonight and then some scrubs. I tried going to bed around 1 oclock. My birthday at that time had officially ended, I actually thought I was going to get to sleep. But no. I started thinking again. and thinking and thinking. So sleep ended up being out of the question.

I decided that I was not sure if I wanted to do my PhD next year. I like the subject, reading about it, writing about it, which is why I am here. I do not know if I want to teach it. One reason being I do not know if I could convey myself well enough to teach other people the knowledge that I have gained. Getting a PhD would most likely end up with me being a professor. I don't think I would get one if I wasn't going to teach.

It doesn't belittle my presence here though at all. Having a masters degree puts me a bit above the people who only have the BA, but what I will do I still have no clue.
I went for a walk. At 2 in the morning, for about an hour. Mostly thinking what I would do next year if not the PhD. Job? Yeah, of course. Where? Substituting? Possibly. Anything else? I really could not say, as I do not know. Something for me to think about I guess.

I guess this entire time I have been putting in my mind that I will do the PhD, well because I am here. I realize I still do not really know what I want to do. What it is that I really like doing.
So, I have about 2-3 weeks to decide whether I am going to apply to any PhD programs at all or not. I was thinking of applying to one or two, as a just in case, see if I get in and then decide that if I want to I would go. I don't know.

Tonight has really just left me with a big I don't know. So for now I am going to do my work here and in the spare time that I have, try and figure out what it is I am supposed to do with my life.

Sigh. Again.

Getting there.

2008-10-19T17:47:00.001-07:00

I'm slowly dwindling down my list of universities that I am applying to...not in any particular order:
1)Temple University
2)UPenn
3)Brown
4)University of Rochester
5)UConn

I really don't know if I am going to apply to more places than that or not. One or two more may make it, but we'll see.

Also. Home: 18 Dec to 6 Jan. FYI

It is now 2 am. I will be going to bed now.

Goood Evening Good Sirs and Madams.

2008-10-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

I am currently listening to Kenny G. WOW, I never thought I would live to see a day where I would be sitting in my room listening to Kenny G. For those of you who do not know who Kenny G is: He is a saxophonist and plays that really corny smooth jazz music. Some critics also believe him to be a sellout, but I'm not really sure as to why that is, but I could care less. It's very calming music.

Anyways. Not much going on right now to make big long posts and I am sorry for that. I would really like there for me to have something really exciting to write about.
Thursday I had class in the Classics Department because it was for how Roman's viewed War. Basically a 2 hour discussion class with 6 people including the professor, who at this point becomes more of a peer rather than an instructor, unless we have specific questions. (Which, by the way, this whole concept is awesome.) There is one guy, who I believe everyone has in their classes at least at one point or another, who just tries really hard to go above and beyond. I'm not saying I do not try and do some extra things, but I mean a lot more. This is fine, as I am used to people doing this, but he cannot always just say what he means. He goes at it in a round-a-bout way and stumbles over his words because he is trying to get too much information out too fast. We think that he just wants to speak more eloquently than he is thinking, but then everything just gets jumbled. I find myself, however, doing just as much as he is in regards to doing extra activities outside of the classes, as far as optional modules and such. He does read a lot more of the material than I do and that is mostly because I am trying to transition myself to actually do more suggested reading on my own. Buh.

Continuing: Today I had the class that everyone is in (20ish or so people). We had an hour lecture on Historical Biography....snore...it really was not anything new for me. I had a conversation with a friend after class and we both agreed that the lecture was fairly disappointing.

Went to the bar tonight and yesterday with the guys from the States and some other people. Wednesday night I went to the pub. That seems to be the major theme of this place. Pub or bar at least 5-6 times a week. I don't know how these people do it as there are some that go out to the clubs after as well. Most of the time I just think that I am too old for that shit... but what it comes down to when I think about it is...I'm too mature for that shit. Regardless of how much I drank that one time last week (which will never happen again,) I find myself not wanting to do any of that.

I was chatting with one of the guys from the States: Chris tonight about college and before and now. He had some stories to tell, and I was thinking the entire time, wow I did not do any of that. My kids will ask me one day for some crazy story to tell them from when I was a kid...My mom let me cross the street on my bike!!! AWESOME.. heh just kidding. But when I think about it I had a fairly "calm" childhood. I didn't do anything excessive, have problems, got into real trouble or anything. I look at it and I am happy that I didn't. I would have liked to get into some "mischief" like my father and my uncles talk about all the time, but I am happy with how I grew up. It just showed that I was in a healthy relationship with my parents and I was not in a fucked up family (pardon my french.) I can only hope to convey the same to my kids.

I keep saying tomorrow I'll do this, next week I'll do that. So far nothing has really changed. My sleep schedule is still pretty messed up and I don't actually get the day going until almost 1 in the afternoon. It's ridiculous. Again I am going to say next week will be different, and I can only hope that this one will be.

It's getting a lot colder a lot faster than anticipated. No more short sleeve shirts. Need at least two layers outside, sometimes three. That's fine. I like the cold, it is just getting used to it again. I also hear that it gets dark at about 4 in the afternoon during the winter...that is going to be very strange and quite annoying. I thought 5 was hard enough as it is.

I e-mailed some professors at Temple University. I'm trying to make some contacts there so maybe it will be easier to get in when I know that they are interested in me for the program. There are only a few military history schools out there for me to choose from. "New Military History" is what I am interested in, and it is what I am studying now. Temple has a program for it, although it is more modern in its focus, which is fine. I always kind of knew I wouldn't be able to study the old stuff forever and that I would have to include some modern comparisons or elements, especially for military history. I'm hoping for the best on this one. If I get in here, I don't care if I get into Brown or not.

Well kiddies, it is time for this old man to hit the hay.
Until next time. Stay Classy San Diego.

In the middle of the night.

2008-10-15T05:20:00.000-07:00

No this doesn't go on to being a fun and fancy free song, however I was searching for something, and I have found a few more programs to apply for next year and I think I found a choice over Brown (if I got into Brown). It is not as prestigious as a school, but who said you have to go to a prestigious school to get what you want/need. If I got into both of these I would be hard pressed to make a decision based solely on the fact that they actually have a War and Society PhD program. The school is Temple University in Philadelphia. They actually have a program, that seems to have been started only recently? I'm not sure I will have to do more research on it. But I could not sleep last night because of what I said previously, and then I did some more research online and was excited about that and then because I was thinking furiously after that about everything else, I still could not sleep. So today I will go to archery, hopefully get a bit of work done, go to the pub to play some pool, and then do some more work, and then go to sleep.